Woman wears bikini at beach for 1st time to teach daughter lesson in body positivity
Her daughter knows only a mother who swims in a shirt.
— -- (Editor's note: This piece first appeared on the Facebook page Tales of an Educated Debutante, where Adrian H. Wood shares her story of parenting four children. It has been reprinted here with permission.)
Are you going swimming? Where is your shirt? The questions of my daughter. She turns 8 on Sunday, and she knows only a mother who swims in a shirt. When did I become that person?
You haven't worn a bikini top in 20-something years. Why not?
Your stomach hasn't seen the light of day since you were 30 pounds lighter. Why not?
You used to be so confident, I tell myself.
I used to love myself.
Why does it matter? Does it even matter? Who cares?
She does.
The little girl who scrutinizes her mother at every step, every turn, every crossroad and yes, even every shirt.
So, today I took it off and I was more uneasy than I care to admit, ashamed almost. Pale belly, full breasts, thick torso, I haven't been that exposed on a beach since I became a mother. Why not?
It's that voice.
The one that chastises me to cover up.
The one that whispers in my ear, You're not so young anymore.
The one that remembers every flaw, every dimple, every soft place.
You are flawed, I tell myself. Scars, battle wounds, a cesarean section scar — none are pretty, but they tell a beautiful story.
You are soft, I tell myself. Four babies burrowed their downy heads into my chest many an evening.
You are older, I tell myself. I'm in my 40s now, and with age, I've matured and learned and am still learning to silence the voice that says, You're not enough.
I am enough. I am more than enough. I am strong. I am imperfect, and I love with my whole heart.
Where's my shirt?
Well, my darling, I don't need it anymore.
