Van der Sloot: If Holloway Is Found, 'I Think I'd Hate Her'

In an exclusive interview, Joran van der Sloot told ABC News' "Primetime" his side of the story about the night he met Natalee Holloway, the Alabama teen who disappeared from Aruba in May.

After all the inconsistencies in his statements about Holloway's disappearance, van der Sloot told ABC News' "Primetime" he understood why it was difficult for the media or other people to believe him.

"I don't trust the media, and I don't think, I don't really care, if the media trusts me or not," he said. "I want to be trusted, and you earn that trust by telling the truth. And that's what I am trying to do. … I'm just happy that I told the story. I said what happened, and that's good."

But van der Sloot also said if he could speak to Holloway now, he wouldn't have anything nice to say.

"If I were to see her … if she were to be found tomorrow, I think I'd hate her," he said. "If she really ran away from home, if she did something like that, I'd hate her."

Changing Stories

Van der Sloot said he and Holloway met at a bar, where he did "jelly" shots and they had shots of Bacardi 151 rum. The two went to the beach, he said, where they "cuddled." That night, he says Holloway said something rather shocking about her mother, Beth Twitty.

"She told me her mom was Hitler's sister," he said.

Van der Sloot said that he was picked up by a friend at the beach but that Holloway refused to join him. He said he left her behind, which he now admits was the wrong thing to do.

Van der Sloot said that later, when Holloway went missing and he came face to face with Twitty, he lied and told her that he and his friend had dropped Holloway off at the Holiday Inn. Van der Sloot said he might have told the real story if the family had not been so aggressive when they met the first time.

"They show up at our house screaming and yelling, cussing," he said. "I mean, if -- the way they were putting pressure on us just made us, probably made us, want to lie more because we seemed like we were in big trouble."

Van der Sloot was taken into police custody in Aruba and held for three months, where, he says, he was grilled for hours and even hit. Police deny that allegation.

Eventually, van der Sloot and his friends Deepak and Satish Kalpoe admitted that the Holiday Inn story was a lie. According to police documents, the Kalpoe brothers then turned on van der Sloot, saying neither of them had driven him home from the beach that night.

Van der Sloot said they were lying.

"Well, the thing that, the only explanation I can get for that is, at that point, if they would have said that they picked me up, that all the, everything goes toward them because then that would mean that they dropped me off at my house and I went to sleep. And then they had a car and they could have basically done anything they wanted," he said.

Lawyers for the Kalpoe brothers did not return calls from "Primetime."

His Own Files of Evidence

Van der Sloot and his father, Paul, have been served with a civil lawsuit by Twitty and Dave Holloway, Natalee's father. The complaint describes van der Sloot as a sexual predator and accuses him of sexually assaulting Holloway. Van der Sloot denies that he ever assaulted Holloway, saying their sexual contact was "consensual."

Van der Sloot is in Holland, where he now lives and goes to college. After all that's happened to him he says he is desperate to lead a normal life. He hangs out with friends and likes to play cards.

But in some ways his life is suspended in time, focused on one night in May. Van der Sloot said he was keeping up with the case.

"I build up my own files of actual evidence," he said. "I read through them every day. I probably know them by heart. … I myself might be able to come up with one little thing that can help."