Ryder Cup picks that will provide U.S. some feistiness
— -- There is a way to win the Ryder Cup, but it's not by copying what the European Team has been doing.
It's by doing what it won't, what it would never do. Winning has a price. How much of your moral compass are you willing to spend to get a victory?
Davis Love III has to make some choices with his four captain's picks that will help determine whether Team USA wins the Ryder Cup. Sometimes the right choice isn't the highest-ranked guy or an old friend.
If the U.S. really wants to win this thing, my captain's picks would guarantee it. They would also take the Ryder Cup rivalry to a level we haven't seen since "The War at the Shore" in 1991.
During their title-winning years, the Chicago Bulls had Dennis Rodman, the Detroit Pistons had Bill Laimbeer and the Boston Celtics had Kevin Garnett (an apropos example since Garnett started his career in Minnesota, which hosts this year's Ryder Cup). If they played against your team, you hated them. If they played for your team, you won championships.
Here's the golf version of those guys who will guarantee the U.S. team is hated, but victorious, at Hazeltine.
OK, so maybe these guys aren't on Love's radar. But if you want a team that is going to rattle a few guys from across the pond, here's who you need to add:
Colt Knost : Imagine if Eminem's, Don Rickles' and Rebel Wilson's DNA got mixed together in a petri dish and the test tube baby it created was a really good golfer. The Ryder Cup is not only about hitting golf shots -- it's about getting in your opponent's head.
Here's a scenario:
At Wednesday's news conferences, four members from Team USA and Team Europe take the stage. Just as everyone settles in, Knost looks across at one of the Europeans and says into the microphone, "I can't believe you're even here! Playing for free with that big alimony check you gotta write every month! She still with that pool guy?"
(What he would say next I can't even print here.)
Let that sink in for a moment. Think of what happens to that European Team player later that day on social media when the memes of his facial expression start hitting Twitter and Instagram.
Time now for the "Ironic Moment of the Week." Instead of having the shaking, tingling hands and feet -- as well as the butterfly-filled stomach feeling that all Ryder Cup players say they experience -- it's replaced by the empty, shell-shocked, punched-in-the-gut embarrassment that normally is reserved for right as you wake up from a nightmare. Sorry, but no alarm clock is going to save you.
Good luck playing any kind of competitive golf this week, because even if you were not the European team player who got burned by Knost, you're now panicking over what he is going to say publicly about you next. Think about being on the 15th green in your match and you're 1 up. Then here comes Knost (whose match just finished), and he's smiling at you.
How's your focus going to be when you hear, "Get 'em Colt! Get him!" from the crowd?
Knost has Eminem's attitude; nothing you can say to him is worse than what he has already heard. If you're on Team Europe, that also means the skeleton in your closet you hoped and prayed would never see the light of day is about to get a tan.
That fearlessness, combined with a Rickles-like quick, stinging wit, is all wrapped up in a fun, bubbly, charming Wilson exterior! Knost would be the darling of the media on both sides of the pond.
The majority of sports fans and writers still considers golfers soft, so any "whining" about what was said would fuel a social media backlash that would be even worse for the Europeans.
NFL trash-talking ... welcome to the Ryder Cup.
Andrew Loupe:?Say something about Zach Johnson playing slow and he just might pray for you. That's good -- we need that, too. Say something about Loupe playing slow, and he just might punch you in the face.
OK, this might be a little far-fetched. But I want a guy on the team who the opponents know will throw the gloves down if they even think about saying something.
How do I know Loupe is that guy? Because of a discussion we had about getting into fights prior to the Travelers Championship.
When I posed the question to several players before the Travelers Championship, "If it's about to go down in a bar, what PGA Tour pro would you want standing next to you?" Almost every pro I talked to said, "No way I'd fight. I'd run."
Except Loupe.
"Yeah, I been in some scraps," he said.
And not in that "I'm a grown-up now and I don't fight anymore" tone. Nah, Loupe told me about a big brawl he was in with an enjoyment and excitement that made me think that if I was at a club with this dude and Onyx's "Throw Ya Gunz" came on, later that evening we'd be waiting for someone to post bail for us.
There are plenty of early-week, off-site events where both the U.S. and European teams and their significant others have to mingle. Loupe, who's from Baton Rouge, is built like Matthew McConaughey and has that hint of an accent that will make guys just a smidge uncomfortable.
We ain't coming to be your friend. I want opponents to know what this team brings to the table. We can be friends next Monday. Apologies for the black eye.
What's it feel like to have to hide in the team room all week?
Billy Horschel:?Super-intense, super-patriotic, and shunned by the last Ryder Cup captain. That's the final piece of the puzzle for winning at Hazeltine.
Tom Watson messed up in 2014 by not putting Horschel on the team for two reasons. No. 1: his raw emotion on the course. Horschel will be someone the crowd will get behind full force because of his passion. He's also the guy who'll lead the crowd in cheering for other American golfers when they need a lift or, more importantly, when guys need a kick in the pants.
No. 2: If he were a football player, Horschel would be the guy who would scold a teammate for helping an opponent up off the ground during a game. Watson was out of touch with today's players, so if he called players out in the media, it was offensive instead of coming across as constructive. Horschel won't say anything to the media he wouldn't say to another player's face in the team room.
Having a teammate that will call you out can be extremely motivating, if it's needed. No one can match what Ian Poulter brought to the table for the European Team; Horschel is the Poulter counterpart that the U.S. team has never had.
I know Love has four picks, but with these three guys on the team, he could pick the squirrel from the Presidents Cup as No. 4 and it wouldn't matter.
See, to win back the Ryder Cup, the Americans don't need anyone to like them. They need Team Europe to not even want to play because you're afraid of how bad it's going to hurt when you do.
If every bet is won or lost on the first tee, and Love goes with these picks, then the Americans will have won by Thursday night -- and the matches don't start until Friday. Come get some!
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