Funnies: Romney Boys to 'Iraq or Iowa?'

A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: It was 110-degree heat, floods in New York and New Jersey. They think there may have been a tornado that hit Brooklyn. It is like Christmas morning for Al Gore. He has never been happier.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: The debate was here in Los Angeles and it centered on topics of interest to the gay community -- which I don't understand. Don't gay voters care about the same things as straight voters -- health care, the war in Iraq, what's the deal with Clay Aiken? These are the issues, these are the issues we want to know about.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: Last night, President Bush did not call Barry Bonds after he broke Hank Aaron's home run record. But today, Bush decided to make the call. That's right. Bush said, "I realized I had a rare opportunity to talk to the only guy in the country who's less popular than I am."

The 1/2 Hour News Hour

Jennifer Lange: Some confusion in Iowa this week when John Edwards stood in a corn field next to a scarecrow and people thought he was running with John Kerry again.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was asked to explain why none of his five sons are in the military, 'cause he's very, you know -- he's supporting the war and all of this. And he said that his sons demonstrate their patriotism by going on the road and campaigning for him. Oh, there's a tough choice, huh? Iraq or Iowa? Hmm, I don't know. Fallujah or Cedar Rapids? Honey, what do you think?

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: President Bush signed into law a bill passed by Congress that allows him to monitor the e-mails and international phone calls of U.S. citizens without a warrant -- even citizens not suspected of not having terrorist ties. I believe there are three left -- Alberto Gonzales, Toby Keith and my dog Gipper.