Funnies: White Males Bash Club of White Males

A round-up of the late-night comics.

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Leno: I saw a new reality show today: "Judge Alito's Dancing Around Roe Versus Wade." Did you see that today?

[Leno dances]

The Late Show with David Letterman

Letterman: Speaking of heart trouble: Earlier this week Vice President Cheney went to the hospital because of shortness of breath. Yeah, he's fine. Don't worry about it. He's sitting up and receiving lobbyists.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Stewart: The most contentious questioning Alito received was over his supposed membership in the Concerned Alumni of Princeton, an organization that tried to keep Princeton all male and all white.

Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill. [at hearing]: How could you identify with a group that would discriminate against women and minorities?

Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt. [at hearing]: They are hostile to what they felt were people that did not fit Princeton's traditional mold -- women and minorities.

Stewart: Senators were shocked that Alito would belong to a group made up exclusively of white males -- as opposed to the Senate, which is, of course, overwhelmingly husky, white males."

Saturday Night Live

Tina Fey: While Alito's wife's crying has become the lasting image of the confirmation hearings, it was just one of the many visible reactions she had during the several days of the senators' questioning. Take a look.

Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass. [at hearing]: In an era where the White House is abusing power, is excusing and authorizing torture and is spying on American citizens. …

[Martha-Ann Alito impersonator raises her hand to her mouth, suggesting Kennedy has been drinking.]

Sen. Joe Biden, D-Ohio [at hearing]: The Constitution provides for one democratic moment, judge, before a lifetime of judicial independence. When the people of the United States are entitled to know as much as we can about the person we are about to entrust …

[Martha-Ann Alito impersonator shown falling asleep.]

Biden [at hearing]: … We, you and I in this committee owe it to the American people in this one democratic moment to have a conversation …

[Martha-Ann Alito impersonator shown with a beard.]

Fey: That concludes our Alito confirmation coverage.