This Week's Best Quotes: 'Jersey Has Been Afflicted by Snookie...'
The week's strangest, funniest quotes.
May 13, 2012— -- intro: Check out this week's funniest, craziest and buzziest quotes from around the world.
quicklist: 1title: 'I Am Sure Your Victory Will Be Great. Insanely Great.'text: In 1984, Steve Jobs, who was then CEO of Apple for the first time, acted as Franklin Delano Roosevelt in a short film. The film, which has just been released for the first time, was made to be shown for motivational purposes, only to be viewed at internal Apple meetings.
Entitled "1944," it was shot entirely in black and white and depicts Apple and IBM as enemies in war, World War II to be specific.
In a clip in the middle of the video, Jobs appears behind a desk (presumably at the White House) calling a general.
"Your battle will be long, your battle will be hard, but it will be won. I am sure your victory will be great. Insanely great," Jobs advises the head of the Macintosh camp on the telephone. A clip is posted above; the full nine minute clip is posted on YouTube. According to Network World, Apple spent $50,000 to make the video.
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quicklist: 2title: 'Bipartisanship Has Brought Us to the Brink of Bankruptcy.'text: Richard Mourdock ousted longtime Indiana Sen. Richard Lugar in the state's Republican primary. Lugar was known to work with both parties to arrive at a compromise, something Mourdock outspokenly opposes.
"Bipartisanship has brought us to the brink of bankruptcy," he told ABC News. "We don't need bipartisanship, we need application of principle."
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quicklist: 3title: 'I Can't Afford a Psychiatrist, But I Can Afford This.'text: Have you ever been angry or stressed out enough to smash something to bits?
Instead of becoming the Incredible Hulk and destroying your own home, a Dallas-based company offers the "Anger Room" as a place where paying customers can throw, beat or shatter everything around them in a controlled environment.
The Anger Room builds mock kitchens, living rooms and replicas of actual workplaces, and fills them with big-screen TVs, VCRs, fax machines, desks, potted plants -- the list is endless. Customers then pay money to destroy them.
Hugo, a 24-year-old retail salesman from Dallas who asked that his last name not be used, paid $45 for 15 minutes inside the Anger Room and said it was worth every penny.
"I can't afford a psychiatrist, but I can afford this," he said, as he crushed a large TV with a baseball bat.
Click here to read the full storymedia: 16315931
quicklist: 4title: 'It's Like, Instead of Like Stage Fright, It's More Like Life-Fright."text: Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine performs with an intensity that leaves crowds breathless, but in reality, the 25-year-old singer said she is a shy person, who still feels awkward everywhere but on stage.
Before attending the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City -- fashion's biggest night out -- Welch, who donned a lacy Sarah Burton gown with cascading layers, said, "I don't know how people are not just scared on [the red carpet] because everyone is just shouting at you."
"It's like, instead of like stage fright, it's more like life-fright," she added. "The singing stays the same and then the rest of your life becomes something you have to navigate something different every day."
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quicklist: 5title: 'I Want to Do What I Want to Do!'text: A Virginia family will have a lot of moms to fuss over this Mother's Day.
The family has an astonishing six generations of daughters still living. The matriarch of the family, Mollie Wood, was born in 1901 and just marked her 111th birthday. The youngest addition to the family, Braylin Marie Higgins, was born in March to Wood's great, great, great granddaughter.
All six generations got together for Mollie Wood's 111th birthday in April. Wood, who was still sharp until age 109, is less so now, according to family members.
But she certainly took notice of her great, great, great granddaughter. When Braylin was brought into her room, Wood revealed the spirit that has kept her going for so long.
"I don't want to babysit," she said, according to her granddaughter, Bette Goodson, "I want to do what I want to do!"
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quicklist: 6title: 'There Were Many Errors, Sloppiness and Bad Judgment.'text: JP Morgan Chase & Co. is rocking the financial markets with the disclosure that its in-house trading operating lost $2 billion in the past six weeks, raising new questions about whether the big banks that caused the financial meltdown have sufficiently changed their ways.
Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon said the trading loss was an "egregious" failure in a unit managing risks, but he added in a call with analysts after the markets closed Thursday that just because the bank did something "stupid" that doesn't mean other firms are having such trouble.
"There were many errors, sloppiness and bad judgment," Dimon said. "These were grievous mistakes, they were self-inflicted."
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quicklist: 7title: 'Jersey Has Been Afflicted by Snookie...'text: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie may be at the top of many veepstakes lists, but his approval rating has hit a peak in his home state one year before his re-election battle.
According to a Fairleigh Dickinson University poll out today 56 percent of New Jersey voters approve of Christie, 33 percent disapprove.
"Jersey has been afflicted by Snookie, mob wives, Jim McGreevey, and six-figure public pensions and sick-day payouts, so I think many voters see Chris Christie as a ray of hope for sanity," poll director Peter Wooley told ABC News, analyzing the good numbers for Christie.
Last May, Christie only broke even in the same poll, with 44 percent of New Jersey voters approving and 44 percent disapproving of the job he's done in the state.
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