Finding the Bright Side to the Recession

May 12, 2009— -- The house is in foreclosure, layoffs have hit home and the checkbook is dangerously close to being in the red. But hey -- look at the bright side.

That's what Cheryl Richardson, author of "The Art of Extreme Self Care," advises couples to do instead of allowing the recession to sink them into a rut.

When Denise and Manuel Santana of Kissimmee, Fla., lost their jobs, they turned their free days into time well spent with their 4-year-old son. Both parents had been workaholics and spent little time with Danny.

But then Manuel Santana lost his job as a computer programmer and Denise Santana lost her translating job.

"Before I was without a job, I didn't see my son as much as I would have liked to," Manuel Santana said. "I feel blessed that we have this time to spend with Danny."

Now, the family said, he's able to take Danny to the bus stop.

"We're able to share more things together,"Denise Santana said, "He's so excited when Daddy's there to pick him or take him to the bus."

In Hamden, Conn., losing her job meant Andrea Espisito and her husband, Ron, had to get creative about romance. After Andrea lost her job as a manager at AT&T, the two realized they no longer had enough money for "date night" -- which meant no more expensive dinners, flowers or nights on the town.

Instead, they each made a list of five things the other person could do that wouldn't cost anything but would make them feel loved. Now they cook together. Or go for walks hand-in-hand by the water.

"I feel like a newlywed again! I know we're going to be married 25 years, but I feel like a newlywed again. We're closer than ever," Andrea said. "We're more connected than we've ever been. It's been the best thing probably for our marriage, not so much for our finances but for our marriage."

Anita and Brad Wiggins of Santa Clarita, Calif., used their money problems to learn to work together as a family. The couple had previously fought about money -- she said he left the finances up to her and he said she spent too much. Anita Wiggins had difficulty getting the kids to do their chores.

But then Brad Wiggins' law firm lost almost 90 percent of its business, and his income dropped. They had to cut back on expenses.

So they let the gardener go and now work the yard as a family. They have also a weekly "Wiggins Family Team Meeting" where they go over the family budget line by line to see where they can save money.

"This whole economic situation, I think, was what I needed -- what we needed," Brad Wiggins said. "It gave a sense of urgency and gave me a powerful nudge to step up and do what was required of me, to take the lead and be a full partner with Anita and really be a team."

Of course, not all that family togetherness works every day, all day for every person.

Richardson pointed to Denise and Manuel Santana who make sure they get "alone time." He goes out biking while she does laps in the pool.

There comes a point where you're like "Oh my gosh, I wish he finds a good job soon. It's like that saying it can be too much of a good thing!" Denise Santana said. "You start understanding your mom when she says 'I'm tired of having this guy around the house all day every day.' It's been a period of growth for us."