American Idol's Clay Reveals Secret Pain

Oct. 9, 2003 -- Clay Aiken, the kid with the funny hair and the down-home charm, came in second place in the last American Idol contest, where he was roundly ribbed by the show's judges, particularly the sharp-tongued Simon Cowell.

But the teasing just made Aiken work harder, and he says he got the last laugh when he won second place.

"In my case, triumph of the nerds," Aiken told ABCNEWS' Diane Sawyer. "It was a great moment for that show. It was really an opportunity for them to have to eat their words. Simon didn't know exactly what to crack on, and the media didn't know exactly what it was about me that made me look weird. So I said, 'Well, let's give them something.' "

Aiken, 24, was a college kid teaching autistic kids when he auditioned for American Idol. The boyish-looking singer has a powerful and supple voice, but that isn't the only thing you wouldn't know about him at first glance. He comes from a family with a tragic, heartbreaking history.

The Sperm Donor

Aiken was raised by his mother and his stepfather, whose name was Ray Parker. Parker died last year. But there is another man who once loomed large in Aiken's life, his father, Vernon Grissom, who was also a singer.

"I can call him 'sperm donor' — which I do in jest sometimes," Aiken said.

He says he remembers the worst thing his father said to him.

"He said I was a mistake," Aiken said. Aiken was still a baby when Grissom and Aiken's mother divorced.

His father had been abusive to his mother, he said.

"She doesn't talk about it — ever," Aiken said. "And I don't know how thrilled she is of me talking about it either. There are pictures of what he did to her. So, you know, I know it's true."

At a certain point, as a teenager, he told his father that he needed to put effort into their relationship, if they were to have one.

"I just said, 'You don't ever call me and ask me to come. I always call you. Next time you want to see me, give me a call and I'll drive up. Sure thing,' " Aiken said. "And he never called. Ever."

If his father called him today, Aiken said, he would take the call — but he doesn't think his father would make the call.

Still the Goofy N.C. Kid

Despite the painful childhood, Aiken is still the goofy kid from Raleigh, N.C., excited at hearing his song on the radio for the first time. He is living his new dream with his first CD out this week, called Measure of a Man.

Cowell, the sharp-tongued English judge on the show, once used the word "horrible" to describe Aiken after his performance, telling the young singer, "Everything about that was horrible."

Even Aiken, looking back at that performance, admits that he isn't the best dancer.

"I shouldn't have danced," Aiken said. "It was horrible."

And he shouldn't have worn that tacky red jacket, either, he agreed.

"Yeah, I think it was a mistake," Aiken said. "I think the hip shake was a bigger mistake than the jacket was. I think that the red jacket made people say — and the hip shake made people go, wha'?"

Still, despite all the snide remarks, these days he is standing proud.

"People called me jug-eared and, you know, it worked," Aiken said.