My Thoughts on Raising Emotionally Healthy Children
Being a mother of five has taught me some very valuable life lessons. First and foremost, despite what I used to think, kids come with their own opinions and agendas. Second, being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. And third, as a parent I have learned that adults don't always know what they are doing or how to do it. Ha ha! Can anyone relate?
There are a few things I have learned along the way about raising emotionally healthy children…albeit through much trial and error.
Positive Rewards- All children respond better and quicker to positive rewards. Let's face it, no one likes to be told what they are doing wrong! If we had an adult friend who made it a point to always tell us what we did wrong, I guarantee they wouldn't be a friend for long. Kids need to hear what they are doing right. Don't get me wrong, kids' bad behavior does need to be corrected. But we need to try to focus on the good things our kids are doing and be sure to tell them.
Hard Work-Kids should be taught that work can be fun. Even the youngest kids can help out around the house. Involve the children in the household chores both in and outside of the home. Sure you can do a better job most of the time then they can. And let's face it, sometimes doing chores WITH your kids takes a lot longer than just getting them done by yourself. But kids need to learn how to work, especially now a days. If parents aren't the first to teach their kids the value of hard work, where will they learn it? Work with them side by side and teach them through example so they can lead successful lives. Make it a game so that it can be an enjoyable family activity.
Teach Responsibility-Kids need to be responsible for behavior. Everyone makes mistakes. But not every learns how to take responsibility for them. With every choice comes a consequence, whether good or bad. Kids need to be responsible for dealing with the consequences of their choices. Parents too often don't allow their kids to feel the consequences of their choices. Many parents don't want their kids to feel bad or be upset so they rescue the child from the natural consequence. This may seem harsh at times but as the child grows older the consequences have much higher stakes and the parent becomes unable to continue to rescue them.
Love and Enjoy them-Learn to accept and love your children for who AND what they are. Listen to them when they talk to you and look them in the eyes. Get down on the floor and play with them. Be sincerely interested in what they have to say to you (even if you have heard it 574 times already). If it is important to them…make it important to you. Love them unconditionally even if they do or approach things differently than you would. They are their own unique and important people to be valued.
If you treat your children with love and understanding and accept them for who they are, they will develop good self esteem. I believe healthy self esteem is crucial to good emotional health. As parents we don't always have all the answers and sometimes we can make mistakes. But it is important to remember that kids are the same too…not perfect!
Children's health is at the top of every mother's mind. What's your favorite tip for raising a healthy baby? By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and a $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.
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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs November 14 to December 18, 2011. A random winner will be announced by December 20, 2011.