Transcript for Bill and Melinda Gates announce split
You know, a lot of people were caught off guard I guess by yesterday's joint announcement from bill and Melinda Gates that they're ending their 27-year marriage. Now they wrote that they raised three incredible kids and built a foundation that works all over the world to enable all people to lead healthy, productive lives which they'll continue to do, but they believe they can't really -- they can no longer grow as a couple, and, you know, this is -- can't be an easy thing to have done. Having been in the publicye and had personal business like this sort of broadcast all over the place, it couldn't have been easy for them to come out and say this is what's happening, but were you surprised by what you heard, Sara? Yeah. I actually was. 27 years is a long run, and arguably a pretty successful marriage with three kids and a lot to show for it, but it always surprises me when people - make it that far and then decide to because I know, you know, having kids and having young kids can put strains on the relationship so you see a lot of divorces early on, but once you've gotten to that level of 27 years, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised because here's a couple of stats. For U.S. Adults age 50 and older, the divorce rate has doubled since the '90s and for 65 and older, the rate that has roughly tripled. Their youngest child right now is 18. So it's that chapter change of emptying the nest, their purpose and their role as parents in a lot of ways is shifting, and I think that's where you see people have this moment. They look at each other and they're, like, what next? I saw an "Oprah" episode that changed how I look at marriage and max and I always agreed we're going to put our marriage first and everything else comes after that because a good parent raises their kid to leave, but when they leave, you're stuck with each other. So it's really important you've always nurtured that, and it doesn't work for everyone, but yeah. I was surprised. Right. So joy, I mean, it seems like lots of people were shocked by this. Did this come as a shock to you? Well, you know, I was thinking about it. First of all, a great catch is now on the market. Just saying. But I was thinking about this couple, you know, and he's not the most fascinating, but, you know, but, you know, I was thinking about the Gates. This is rather consistent with their philosophies of life, you know, a lot of people in this country, very rich people, they hoard their money. They don't really spend it. They don't want to give it away. They just -- they don't want to give it to their kids until they die and they hoard it as if they're going to live forever, no? The Gates have given their money away because they know that they're not going to live forever. They know that there's an end to this unfortunately, although Betty white is giving us a run for our money, but still. This couple are very consistent here. Think about it. They now are in their 50s, and they're saying, I don't want to spend the rest of this very short time I have left in this situation. You know? It's the same as giving their money away -- not their mothers, their money. That was a slip. Sunny, 27 years is a long time. What -- what did you think when you heard they were ending it? I don't know why I was so saddened by it because I sort of felt like Sara, you know, after you have been married for so long, why would now be the time to -- to end it? You know, I have been married 23 years, and it just -- it seems to get easier as you go along because you know each other better, and you know about compromise, and you know your partner, and you know what makes your partner tick, and what was interesting to me is this was a marriage they seemed to be able to understand each other, and like joy said, they work together. They had similar values and they were working on this foundation and they will continue to do. They were so philanthropic. This was an article in "Time" magazine, on Bill Gates and they had an arrangement where Gates had this ex-girlfriend and me Melinda was fine with him continuing to spend a long weekend with him where they would ride dune buggies, hang glide and walk on the beach together and play putt putt while discussing biotechnology. Now everybody knows me and Manny's not going to be with his ex-girlfriend for a decade in North Carolina at her beach cottage playing putt putt, but Melinda was, like, very comfortable with that kind of arrangement because she was so comfortable -- Good for her. -- With his needs and what he wanted, and I just thought if there's a wife and a couple that can be comfortable with that kind of thing, why can't they stay together? It's just -- it's still kind of odd to me because when you think about relationships, you know, most therapists say there are three things that break up a marriage. It's sex, kids and money. They got $130 billion. They got the kids. I don't know. I don't know. Well, maybe it's the first one and maybe she found -- Meghan -- Maybe she found someone to walk on the beach with, sunny. Yeah, I don't know. Or maybe not. Don't -- yeah. Meghan, what's your thoughts on this? Whoopi, you and I have sort of, like, similar perspectives on marriage. No matter who you are and what you do, it's a gamble and you got to roll the dice if that's what you are going to do, and this past year in particular, a lot of my friends have gotten a divorce, like, more than I would have predicted, and people that I thought were in probably great marriages and, you know, I think the pandemic has had a lot to do because you're, like, stuck in a house with the person that you are married to. I called it marriage on acid the past year, and I don't like to judge. I mean, I've talked about on this show how I have close friends who are in polyamorous relationships and they're super happy. I have friends who are in open marriages. I have friends who are swingers, you know, I think millennials have a totally different perspective on sex and marriage than generations previously, and I'm not surprised. They'll probably stay very close friends, and do what they want to do and maybe come back together, but I really don't like to judge what people do in marriages and bedrooms because, you know, this is a crazy world we're in, and what works for one person doesn't work for anybody else, and my best friend in the world yesterday, Josh, he said, my life is like whoopi's. I don't want anybody in my house. That's how he feels. It's true. It's true. You're inspiring people. I hope so. I hope so. I just, you know, for me it's the uncomfortable part is knowing that, you know, they're on display, and I know that they realize that they have to be, but it just makes me feel bad because, you know, other people to get to do this quietly, and, you know, it's tough. It's not easy. You got kids and it doesn't matter how old they are when marriages break up. It's sort of uncomfortable, - especially when everyone knows. So, you know, good luck to both of them. I hope y'all find what you are looking for in life.
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