'The Lifestyle' -- Real-Life Wife Swap

March 18, 2005 — -- On the hit ABC show "Desperate Housewives," cheating destroys marriages because spouses lie and get caught.

But we found couples who say they have found a way to enjoy the company of others without the deception. It's called the "Lifestyle" or swinging, an arrangement where couples have sex with other couples, and there is no secrecy.

Brian and Olga got married four years ago. Now they run a business together, and after work they like to go to a club in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., called Trapeze. It looks like other nightclubs, with a dance floor, buffet, bar.

But it is not like other clubs, because in back there's a locker room where couples can get undressed, and, if they want, have sex in different bedrooms with other couples -- or watch each other in hot tubs. It's called swinging or "the lifestyle."

Isn't it immoral? Four couples I talked with said, no, it's a good thing.

"What we do is not illegal. And I don't believe it's immoral," Brian said.

Chris, who participates in the lifestyle with his wife, Lavonne, said, "I don't want to be 85 years old, looking back on my life, like, 'Man, I didn't have enough sex in my life.' "

Another swinging couple, Bob and Tess, were college sweethearts. (Most of the couples we talked to didn't want their last names used.) They've been married 18 years, and five years into their marriage decided to try the lifestyle.

"Tess was the first woman I ever kissed in my whole life. So you always have an innate curiosity about, 'How would another woman feel?' I no longer have that curiosity," Bob said.

Swinging was Tess' idea. She heard about it from a girlfriend and was intrigued. She figured their relationship was strong enough to give swinging a try. "You have to be completely open and honest with each other," she said.

Won't they look back at their lives and feel that they ruined the intimacy they had with each other by having sex with all these other people?