Sundance Is All About Porn Nowadays

Facebook / PrinceAvalanche

Unfortunately, we can't be at Sundance this year. Boo-hoo. Looking through the list of films, I came across some movies that made me really happy we didn't travel across the country to 25-degree weather to see Naomi Watts make out with her friend's son (see slide 8: Two Mothers). But then there were some movies that gave me real FOMO (fear of missing out). I also noticed a big trend at this year's fest: porn. Here's the list of the 4 movies we're sad we missed, and the 4 we wouldn't have any other way. Most of these criticisms are based on the titles alone, so forgive me for being quick to judge. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Twitter / Lovelace_Movie

Sad We Missed It. Porn is everywhere today. Pornstars are making cameos on hit TV shows, pornography is the cornerstone for almost every discussion in any feminist studies class, and "food porn" is a coined term now. So, yes, a movie about one of the most famous pornstars and probably the most famous porn flick (Deep Throat) is a reason to wish we were at Sundance.

Facebook / TheLookofLoveMovie

Sad We Missed It. A Steve Coogan film is always a good time, especially when he works with director Michael Winterbottom (24-Hour Party People, Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story and The Trip). The Look of Love is about the life of London porn (!) publisher Paul Raymond who was known as the "King of Soho". IFC just bought the North American rights to the film on Sunday – and if Coogan and Winterbottom aren't enough to convince you, IFC should be the tipping point.

Facebook / PrinceAvalanche

Sad We Missed It. This movie basically sounds like Brokeback Mountain but instead of herding sheep, these two guys are repainting traffic lines down a country highway "ravaged by wildfire." And instead of sexual tension, these guys just have good old fashion regular tension as the stern boring guy, Paul Rudd, and his "dopey and insecure" (whatever that means) girlfriend's brother played by Emile Hirsch. But, like Brokeback, I'd be more than happy to sit through 2 hours-worth of these 2 actors doing just about anything.

Fox Searchlight Pictures

Sad We Missed It. Creepy. Creepy. Creepy. Setting aside my love for Alexander Skarsgard, this movie looks intense, interesting, and eerie as hell.

Facebook / DonJonsAddiction2013

Glad We Missed It. I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt as much as the next girl, but watching him "pick up 10's every weekend" just sounds like a hidden camera show about his real life, plus or minus the porn (yes, porn again!) addiction his character has in the film. No thanks.

Facebook / AfternoonDelightFilm

Glad We Missed It. Although the cast looks great, all I can say after reading the synopsis is #whitegirlproblems.

IMDB / Two Mothers

Glad We Missed It. I don't get it. Two MILFs (played by Naomi Watts and Robin Wright) date each other's hot sons. Big whoop. Definitely not compelling enough to put on my Uggs and walk around Park City in 25 degree weather.

IMDB / Top of the Lake

Glad We Missed It. This film (TV mini-series I later found out) looks really great. But 6 and a half hours? Get out of here.