It takes all kinds to make the world go round, and it takes all kinds to make Forbes' list of America's 400 Richest.
The billionaires on our list have a variety of strange and expensive hobbies — including funding longevity research, flying military aircraft and searching for extraterrestrial life.
We looked at five classic billionaire personality types:
The Geek, the Limousine Liberal, the Thrill Seeker, the Hedonist and the Narcissist, and came up with some fanciful ways that they might squander their fortunes.
First, the Top 10 Richest Americans:
An original 1977 poster print of Star Wars. $344 (after a bidding war with Luke444).
500 black-market clones of himself. At $1.7 million a pop (see "We Cloned You. Now, Here's The Bill"), that's $850 million.
"Big gesture" date with high-school crush. Flies her to his hometown on his private jet (cost $40 million) and has an extravagant dinner (at Olive Garden for an estimated $50). The homecoming queen politely declines invitation to procreate. The geek buys a Russian wife on the Internet for about $5,000. Total cost for companionship? $40,005,050.
Fifty-year supply of McDonald's Big Mac value meal: $9,836,750. Pays $280,800 to have his mother-in-law overnight borscht every week for 60 years.
Gives rest of fortune ($250 million) to a nonprofit scientific research organization in the Russian hometown of his newly acquired wife.
The Limousine Liberal
To feed the 31.1 million Americans living in poverty a $6 tofu turkey sandwich with organic sprouts, tomatoes, non-dairy Swiss cheese on whole-wheat bread, the limo liberal spends $186.6 million.
In a rash act of generosity, pops for idol Lance Bass' trip to the moon on a shoddily made Russian rocket ship. Cost: $20 million.
Adopts 50,000 children for $24 a month for 50 years in Sally Struthers-sponsored Save the Children program. Cost: $720 million.
Donates $5 million to save the endangered American burying beetle and the black lace cactus. He would also save 100,000 acres of rain forest for about $5 million, and using some $17 million in pocket change, he would adopt five miles of highway in a cleanup program.
Finally, the cost to bail out the Catholic Church from pending sexual misconduct charges and all future charges easily eats up his remaining fortune of $143 million.
He would have homes in Amsterdam and Las Vegas and his own private island in the Bahamas (cost: $25 million). He would hire two supermodels to travel with him and dress up like lions and sit outside the gates of his homes. (Considering that Gisele Bundchen earned $12.5 million last year, the estimated cost of two supermodels would come in at about $25 million a year, or $250 million over 10 years. Estimated collective cost: $275 million.
His masseuse and chef (he would keep one of each in all three of his homes) would cost about $3 million a year, or $150 million over 50 years.
The average male uses about 600 pairs of underpants over his lifetime. The hedonist would wear his way through twice that, and in the name of self-indulgence, they would be made of pure silk ($50,000 for 1,000 pairs). For special occasions, a small percentage would be custom-made leather underpants, costing $30,000 for about 200 pairs ($150 each). Total cost: $80,000.