Love him or hate him, Perez Hilton's not going away.
Today, with the release of "Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide to Keeping Up With the Hiltons," the infamous celebrity blogger (real name: Mario Lavandeira) turns bona fide author, his smug mug gracing book shelves across the country.
Hilton's tome divulges the secrets he's learned during more than four years of chronicling the every move of celebrities from Paris Hilton (the inspiration for his moniker) to Paula Abdul; from Britney Spears to Brad Pitt.
His No. 1 finding? Anyone can get famous with the right tools, no talent necessary.
On the eve of Hilton's book release, ABCNews.com chatted with the self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" about the secrets to stardom in an age when everyone's after their 15 minutes, about who in Hollywood has played their cards right and who should've tossed in their hand ages ago.
ABCNews.com: So what's the secret to getting famous?
Perez Hilton: There are 12 easy steps that can help you on your way to becoming famous -- if you read the book, it'll all reveal itself. One of the chapters of my book is "put the ho in Hollywood" -- I say you can never be too young to unleash your inner ho. Just look at Miley Cyrus. She got a head start last year with those pictures that were leaked from her cell phone and those photos in Vanity Fair. She was definitely playing by the Britney Spears rule book. I wouldn't be surprised if next year, she releases a sex tape or gets pregnant.
ABCNews.com: Who's played the game the best?
Hilton: Paris Hilton is still the Hilton that all these other wannabe Hiltons look up to. To her credit, she really works hard at it. All these models and socialites and C-list actors want to be like her, but she has something that made her different and special: the fact that she works hard. She may go out and party till 3 o'clock in the morning, but she'll still show up for that early morning interview.
Second place -- Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag [of the MTV reality show "The Hills."] I know them and they actually do love each other; it's not a business relationship, but they do work the hell out of it.
Kim Kardashian definitely comes close as well. She got her big break just by getting photographed on a date with Nick Lachey -- just one date, she wasn't even his girlfriend. Then all of a sudden she was hanging out with Paris, then there was the sex tape with Brandy's brother. Now she's got her own reality show, a calendar, she's dated up and gotten herself a football player boyfriend.
ABCNews.com: Who's messed up the worst?
Hilton: Britney [Spears] hasn't really handled the press well. Now her handlers and family are trying to control her more, so she's not doing much press, and they're making it harder for her to even be photographed. Leonardo DiCaprio, Jessica Alba, the Olsen twins -- I hate those celebrities who hate being famous or come across that way. You don't have to hide your face every time the paparazzi come around.
ABCNews.com: You've been doing this for a while now -- what's changed since you started blogging?
Hilton: What's changed along the way is the amount of media covering celebrity news and the amount of blogs dedicated to it. When I started my Web site, in September of 2004, I was one of a few. I could count on my hand the number of blogs that were doing that. I don't even know if they're around anymore. I'm the only one that matters.
ABCNews.com: What red carpet faux pas do you not want to see this year?
Hilton: I love seeing the red carpet faux pas, I want to see more of them. I'd love to see a nip slip from a really old celebrity. I'd love to see Bea Arthur's boob pop out.
ABCNews.com: Who is so 2008? Who are you sick of?
Hilton: ["The Hills'"] Lauren Conrad. She's just become irrelevant. At least Spencer and Heidi are fun to write about. She's been eclipsed by everyone -- by Audrina, by Whitney, by Spencer and Heidi. I never count anyone out but she's done for now. She's got to shake things up. She's dating some loser actor and they're not even talking about it on "The Hills." That's the ultimate slap in the face.
ABCNews.com: Who are the stars to watch this year?
Hilton: The real stars to watch out for, you never have any way of predicting. In 2008, one of the big breakout stars was "Twilight's" Robert Pattinson. I had no idea who he was in January 2008; now I write about him several times a week. [The year] 2007 was the first time Miley [Cyrus] and the Jonas Brothers exploded. So this year, I have no idea, and I love that. Maybe it'll be some of the singers and musicians I talk about -- last year, I talked about Lady Gaga and Katy Perry before they got any press.
ABCNews.com: Well then, who are you hoping will have a great 2009?
Hilton: Perez Hilton and his book.