Host: What household chore will your wife say you do exactly the way you make whoopee? Husband: Wash the dishes. Host: Your wife said, "Take out the garbage."
From the very start, the contestants needed no prodding to talk dirty. "The second week's shows were more horrendous than the first," he said. "Angelic little girls and seemingly benign gentlemen were metamorphosing into garbage pails."
An Unusual Place for Whoopee
The most salacious Newlywed Game moment has long been considered an Urban Legend, appropriately titled, "Where's the most unusual place you've made whoopee?"
As the story goes, in 1977, host Bob Eubanks put that question to a couple named Olga and Hank. One might anticipate that she would says something like, "The back seat of a Buick Skylark."
To put it politely, Olga thought "unusual spot" meant a part of her body where she had sexually experimented. And she answered with slang, referring to her posterior.
"No, no," Eubanks said. "What I'm talking about is the weirdest location."
For many years, TV researchers claimed that this story was untrue. Even Eubanks had his doubts. But Clooney unearthed the tape of that controversial broadcast.
Tom Selleck Can’t Score
In 1968, a United Airlines trainee, Tom Selleck, failed twice as a bachelor contestant on The Dating Game. But don't feel too bad. A casting agent saw him and Twentieth Century Fox signed him to a $35-a-week contract. He grew that Magnum P.I. mustache, and the rest is history.
Other future stars who tried to score on TV: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Farrah Fawcett, Steve Martin (before his hair grayed) and Andy Kaufman, who pretended to be a confused foreigner and refused to answer any questions.
Gong Show Rejects The Gong Show was originally supposed to be a real talent show, with one or two offbeat acts to spice things up.
"All the acts — the winner and losers — would love the show because they would be getting what they wanted more than money," he says. "Exposure."
But Barris quickly changed plans, finding that TV viewers preferred had an endless appetite for kooks who sang dreadful versions of "Feelings."
Here are some Gong Show legends:
• Count Banjula — a banjo-playing vampire, who would wear a black cape and fangs, hang upside down, and strum down-home folks songs. • A 300-pound lady in a bikini singing, "Your Cheating Heart." • A pair of boys dressed as a vagina and umbilical cord singing, "You're Having My Baby." • A woman standing on her head while singing "Life Is a Dream." • The stripping accountant.
The panel of B-list celebrity judges disposed of each act accordingly, and Barris would come on stage, top hat pulled over his squinty eyes with an obnoxious introduction: "Our next act says he's only semi-professional. That's OK, because we're only quasi-interested." And if things ever got slow Barris had regulars: Gene Patton, a fat stagehand with two left feet, better known as "Gene Gene the Dancing Machine," and Murray Langston, a.k.a. "The Unknown Comic."
The Popsicle Twins
The most infamous of all Gong Show acts was The Popsicle Twins — a pair of young women in skimpy outfits who sucked on orange Popsicles in a suggestive manner, to the tune of "I'm in the Mood for Love."
Amazingly, the judges didn't break out the gong. Phyllis Diller gave them a "0" and Jamie Farr gave them a "2." But Jaye P. Morgan gave them a perfect "10," adding, "That's the way I started."