Steven Tyler is a trip.
Indeed, there's a lot of noise in the book's nearly 400 pages. Tyler weaves a winding tale of his 63 years, from growing up in working class New York City and rural New Hampshire ("I was a mountain boy, barefoot and wild") to feeling on top of the world as only the rich and famous can ("For the whole of the '70s we were all nicely f**ked up and deep-fried").
It's easy to picture Tyler spilling out these stories over a night fueled by whiskey, bong hits and a campfire. In between the rambling accounts of who did what to whom on a tour bus, he reveals his thoughts on sex (good), drugs (bad, mostly) and reality TV (a little bit of both).
Below, check out seven choice excerpts from Tyler's book:
On being bullied as a kid: I got into street fights in the Bronx all the time -- an hour and a half they went on, I'd come home bloody as hell. … I got spit on in school and called "N****r Lips." The kids would snap my earlobes with their fingers, which was especially painful on freezing cold days.
On his relationships with women: I've never had a relationship with a woman who really trusted me. I'm this guy onstage with an outrageous, larger-than-life persona, a persona designed to be over-the-top, out there -- and nasty.
On his preference for women: As dirty as my mind is, my body's pretty clean. Kelly [one of the Aerosmith entourage] always made sure the girls were in the shower when I got in the room. I liked my pulchritude pristine! I can't kiss a girl that's been stage diving with 500 other guys.
On being half male, half female: I've been misquoted as saying that I'm more female than male. Let me set the record straight -- it's more half and half, and I love the fact that my feelings are akin to puella eternis (Latin for "the eternal girl"). What better to be like than the stronger of the species?
On how Aerosmith did cocaine: One of the things we always put in our riders was that the promoter had to provide in the dressing room a full-length, 6-foot-long mirror. I would take the local promoter's rep into the dressing room and he'd say, "Well, there's the 6-foot mirror you requested, Steven." And I'd say, "I can see the mirror all right, but where the f**k's the 3-foot razor blade?"
On gay sex: Gay sex just doesn't do it for me. I tried it one time when I was younger, but I just didn't dig it.
On how a text from Kara DioGuardi and "The Back-up Plan" got him on "American Idol:" June 29, 2010. We were on tour in France, when Kara DioGuardi texted me asking if I've ever thought about being a judge on "American Idol," because apparently she didn't want to continue doing it. I didn't know. Like a dummy, I went, "Does it still have high ratings?" She's going, "Oh, yeah!" So I said, "Well, I'll get back to you."
Early July: I'm on a plane coming back from England to start the American leg of the tour and there's an in-flight movie called "The Back-up Plan" playing. There'd already been rumors and grumblings about my doing "American Idol." My own internal interrogator is going, "Can you do it, Steven?" Do you want to do it, lad?" I said, "You know, yeah, I do."