"She's the silent sufferer," Slusser said.
Meanwhile, she said, Richard rules the roost. His angry outbursts, seen publicly when the couple appeared twice on "Wife Swap," were a daily occurrence, Slusser said.
The show presented the household as one clearly run by the husband. According to a promo for its first episode, Richard called Mayumi his "ninja wife" because she "maintains equipment, drives the storm-mobile, films tornadoes and waits with the kids while Richard jumps on his motorbike, heads into the eye of the storm and launches rockets to measure magnetic forces."
"While Richard devotes every moment to his research, he expects Mayumi to cook, clean and run the house without any help," the promo continued.
In that episode, which aired October 2008, Richard screamed at Karin, the wife who swapped places with Mayumi: "You're a man's nightmare. I'm so glad my wife was born in Japan."
Slusser said whenever she came over for dinner, Mayumi Heene always cooked -- and remained in the kitchen throughout dinner.
"She wouldn't join us to eat. She'd say, 'No, no, no,' and get very uncomfortable," Slusser said. "The kids would come through and say, 'We want to eat.' They'd grab a whole thing of ice cream and put Mountain Dew on top."
"I always try to be a friend to my kids," Mayumi Heene said on the first episode of "Wife Swap."
In reality, according to Slusser, her three boys -- Falcon, 6; Ryo, 8; and Bradford, 10 -- are out of control, and she's subservient to them.
"She accepts this even from her own children, who are all male," Slusser said. "She considers herself less than all four of them."
That might explain why Mayumi always went along with Richard's schemes and allowed the children to participate, too.
"Richard's the inventive one, the plotter," Slusser said. "He turns to her and she'll be complicit with it. They're like in a reality show all the time. Their lives are scripted however Richard wants it to be."
Slusser said she has little doubt that Mayumi went along with Richard's latest scheme involving Falcon and the helium balloon.
"She's chosen to be part of this, she knew it was staged," she said. "But she probably wouldn't have realized the trouble they would get into."
Since the incident Thursday, Mayumi Heene's appearances on television have all been an act, Slusser said.
"The only time you ever see her show emotion is when she's acting, when she's on TV, otherwise, she's the most stoic person," Slusser said. "I think if she gets arrested, she'll finally show some real emotion."
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