Chelsea Handler Reveals Details of Her New Netflix Show

PHOTO: Chelsea Handler smiles during an event at the 2016 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, Jan. 6, 2016. Play David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
WATCH Chelsea Handler on Why She Walked Away From Her Show

So we’re still not certain what it’s called, but what we do know now is Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix talk show will premiere May 11 and air three times a week -- Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Handler herself revealed the news in a handwritten memo to herself that’s part press release and part random musings, but all hilarious.

Among the notes: “I know it’s hard for you, but waking up is a great way to start the day”; “... put a little more thought into what you say this time around”; and, because the show will stream around the world, “keep a deeper, more culturally sensitive perspective. Especially towards the Germans, they’re still touchy about everything they did.”

Handler’s E! talk show, "Chelsea Lately," ended its seven-year run 18 months ago. Last January, Netflix premiered a four-episode documentary series titled "Chelsea Does," that saw Handler examine marriage, racism, Silicon Valley and drugs.

Here’s the full text of Handler’s press release:

Dear You:

This is your new show schedule, so if you’re thinking about having a baby -- DON’T. Your new show will be on every WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY and FRIDAY on NETFLIX. 30 minutes, 3x a week, NO COMMERCIALS.

--I know it’s hard for you, but waking up is a great way to start the day.

--You’ll be barreling around the world and learning new things, all courtesy of NETFLIX. Treat this as an opportunity to get the college education you forgot to get.

--Sign up for Netflix.

--When introducing respected public figures, ask yourself, “What would Byron Allen do?” Then, do the opposite.

--Once an episode is up and streaming on Netflix, it will be available until the end of time, so put a little more thought into what you say this time around.

--Never give up on your dream guest list: 3. Michelle Obama 2. The Pope. 1. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid.

--You’ll be streaming in 196 countries, so remember to keep a deeper, more culturally sensitive perspective. Especially towards the Germans, they’re still touchy about everything they did.

--You wanted a new show, you got it. You wanted to be on Netflix, you are. You wanted to spread your wings, now fly, B----.

PREMIERES MAY 11.

P.S. It’s an election year. Good timing, girl.

Chelsea