Since the dawn of Hollywood, the chosen few have struggled to reconcile their real-world problems with their larger-than life public persona. Fame, as they say, is a b***h.
But some celebrities need help more than others, and fast. As in, they should've undergone a psychological evaluation yesterday.
Below, check out five stars in danger of self-imploding and the courses of action they might want to consider:
Problem: Looking too tired, too thin and too strung out for her too young (24) years.
When Lindsay Lohan signed on to advise the high fashion house of Emanuel Ungaro, she raised more than a few eyebrows. But considering that Hollywood studio heads aren't exactly banging down her door, it's hard to blame the girl for taking a gig in an industry she barely knows.
That said, she embarrassed herself and Ungaro at her Paris Fashion Week debut. Heart-shaped pasties and a blue bandeau bra do not a fashion line make.
Lohan looked less than luminescent on the runway, and partying in Paris she showed even more signs of wear and tear. Maybe it's over-stressing, maybe it's under-eating, or maybe, as her father told Radar Online, it's prescription drugs.
Whatever the case, in his words, she seems to be covered in "a fungus."
Prescription: a month of sleep, a visit to a career counselor, a French diet of brie and baguette, and a medicine cabinet clean-out.
Problem: Out of work and out of whack.
How far Mischa Barton has fallen since her glory days on "The O.C."
In September, two months after police forcibly removed her from her Los Angeles home and checked her into a hospital, causing her to miss the premiere of her movie "Homecoming," Barton opened up to the ladies of "The View" about why she needed medical attention. Frankly, she didn't make a lot of sense.
The 23-year-old actress described her dental surgery-induced hospitalization as "silly" despite the fact that she was "completely overwhelmed" at the time. After going off on a tangent about being "absolutely petrified" of needles, Barton mopped up her verbal spillage by concluding that everything was all good now that she had a new New York City pad and a TV gig -- starring on the CW drama "The Beautiful Life."
Alas, as the proverb goes, beauty is fleeting. The CW canceled "The Beautiful Life" after only two episodes, stripping Barton of her job and forcing her to go "back to thinking about things" like films again, as she told The New York Post. "Thinking about things," or partying 'til dawn, sleeping 'til 2, and shopping 'til the savings account runs dry?
Prescription: House arrest until employment rears its (beautiful) head.
Problem: Drunk, again.
Oh, the irony: Baywatch's beefcake lifeguard now needs life saving. According to the UK Sun and The New York Post, last week David Hasselhoff had a few swigs too many and punched the doctor at his London hotel after returning from Simon Cowell's birthday bash.
Apparently the "America's Got Talent" judge was actually aiming for his assistant, who enraged the Hoff by calling the MD. The Sun said the hotel dealt with the drama by locking Hasselhoff in a basement until an ambulance arrived to take him to the hospital for a two-day stay. While Hasselhoff's reps didn't respond to requests for comment, when the actor arrived back home in Los Angeles Friday, he cryptically told reporters, "It's all good."
It's not the first time Hasselhoff has acted out after drinking. Last month he was reportedly hospitalized for alcohol poisoning after his 17-year-old daughter called paramedics to their home (though his reps contended he needed help because of an ear infection, not alcohol.) In 2007, both his daughters filmed him drunk, on the floor, limbs flailing, attempting to eat a hamburger.
Prescription: Rehab. Rehab, rehab, rehab.
Lily Allen is known for her cutting lyrics and charming melodies. Her debut album sold more than 2.6 million copies and earned her a Grammy nomination. So why does the British singer want to quit music and embark on an acting career?
At the end of September, Allen posted this message on her anti-music piracy blog It's Not Alright: "I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record." She then deleted the blog altogether.
While Allen's publicist refuted the singer's assertion, telling reporters outright, "she is not quitting pop music," according to the Daily Mail, Allen is now spending time preparing for her role in the London play "Reasons To Be Pretty" and mulling a more robust career in acting and/or fashion design.
Prescription: A crash course in career swaps gone wrong, with a bonus lesson on why not to cry wolf about an early retirement.
Problem: Where to begin?
Jon Gosselin has an angry ex-wife, a 20-something-year-old girlfriend, a compulsion to party that some frat boys would envy, and a habit of talking about all of these things, in lurid detail, to the press, ad naseum.
Oh yeah, and he has eight kids.
Prescription: Press stops here. (For the moment, anyway.)