6. On maintaining feminine allure while still being a badass: "How hard is it to shave your legs and armpits? Is it really just too much to go to the waxer once a month? And how hard is it to shut the bathroom door? Let me put it to you this way: If your boyfriend or husband casually sat on your face and let out the smelliest, loudest fart in the world, and then just got up as if it had never happened, and he did this regularly, would you still find him hot? No, you would not. So why on earth would he find you sexy when he can see and hear your bathroom habits? ... Why should he have sandpaper scraping his body all night in bed? Why should he wonder how he ended up with a gorilla instead of the beautiful woman he fell in love with? ... There is no excuse for not taking care of yourself."
7. On the badass approach to stalking a guy: "Most of the time I go with my friend Gary or my friend Roger. We have fun because we put on wigs and glasses, get bad magazines, and bring along food and drinks -- you know, the basic stakeout supplies. The key is to never get caught, and if you do, to have an excuse for why you are at his house: a basket of cookies, soup if he claimed to be 'sick' -- anything that can somewhat justify why your crazy ass is down the street from his house."
8. On the badass going out motto: "Just ask yourself, 'What would Princess Grace do?' and you pretty much have the game plan on how to behave like a first-class badass when you're out in a bar or at a restaurant."
9. On how to party like a badass: "You may be a woman who is not a great dancer. That's cool. But if you're an authentic badass gal who is a bad dancer, I know people aren't going to find you sitting on the sidelines at the next family wedding or office holiday party. Hell, no -- you'll be out there on the dance floor, having the time of your life. Have no fear, no stress. You're just out there making up dance moves that no one else in the world has ever seen before."
10. On the badass way to get out of a traffic ticket: "Here's the thing: police officers have a very hard job and are constantly putting themselves in danger on the front lines, and I believe they deserve an enormous amount of respect. They are simply doing their jobs and keeping us safe, so please try to be kind and respectful. That being said, here a few excuses you can try: 1. I just started my period and have to get home for a tampon now! 2. I have diarrhea and can't hold it. 3. My husband (or boyfriend) is to blame 4. I am an idiot -- so sorry."