Showbiz Commentary: Heidi Oringer

Lara Flynn Boyle, the skeletal district attorney on The Practice, was caught in a recent whirlwind of rumors linking her with the newly separated Harrison Ford. (She’s so lucky — I can’t even get linked with Gerald Ford.)

Boyle refuted these allegations, calling them “poppycock.” This celebrity couple connection came just one day after it was revealed that Ford and his wife of 17 years, screenwriter Melissa Mathison, have been living apart for over a month.

So, how did Boyle get hooked up with Ford, you ask? She was seen at the same restaurant as the Indiana Jones star. He was with his assistant, she was alone. End of story.

The ‘Weathered’ Look

It’s certainly no surprise that the rumormongers found a way to put a spin on the Ford split, because that’s what they do. But why did they place him with Boyle, of all the women in Hollywood? (Not to worry … I’m going to answer this for you.) Because she’s obviously got a penchant for older men.

Yes, that’s right. The seriously svelte actress, who is 30, likes her men, how shall I say, “weathered.” Case in point, her real boyfriend is Jack Nicholson. Um hmm … I said Jack Nicholson. Perhaps you’ve been following the election so closely that you didn’t realize Ms. Boyle is happily back in the elderly arms of her senior sweetheart, “The Joker.”

For some this may be an epiphany, but to the regular Celebrity Dating Game contestants, it’s old hat (who said “old?”). These two stars have actually been going at it for some time, but there’s a new twist on the old tale. (Oops! There’s that word again.) Nicholson gave Boyle the heave-ho several weeks ago, but he has since changed HIS mind. And the sicker kicker is, SHE couldn’t be happier!

Again, the older man getting the girl certainly isn’t groundbreaking. It’s just that it’s usually the young woman who gets tired of the older man (or he dies, whichever comes first). In this case, Boyle seems to be absolutely smitten with the Jackster, publicly calling him “sexy” and stating that he more than occasionally takes her breath away.

Sexy Sugar Daddies

I can certainly agree that Jack Nicholson is not just another older man. He is sexy, in a way (albeit the way the way your grandpa was sexy in the 1940s, before he got the hair in his ears). With Nicholson, though, I think it’s the cocky attitude that throws women for a loop. He exudes “I don’t give a damn” in a place known for its “Image is everything” ideology.

I’m not saying he’s a BAD-looking guy either, but he’s no Robert Redford or Paul Newman. And admittedly, he has far more appeal than many of the other cradle robbers out there, like Hugh Hefner. He’s also, unquestionably, one talented S.O.B. But do those qualities overcome the negatives, namely, the drastic age difference?

Apparently so. OK, fine. I’ll deal with it. But, but, but, but …

What About a Sugar Mama?

This week’s New York magazine quotes someone as saying they saw Carrie Fisher making nice with Ben Affleck at her 44th birthday party. This person said the little tete-a-tete was “casual,” but also called it “bizarre.” This person was also quoted as trying to explain the attraction by suggesting Affleck perhaps had a “Princess Leia fantasy.” There’s no solid confirmation regarding the veracity of this story, but Carrie Fisher’s spokesperson responded by simply saying, “Good for her.”

Damn right it’s “good for her”!

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