I turned on the news last week and was slammed with hot breaking news -- Lindsay Lohan had been busted for drunk driving and drug possession.
I quickly changed the channel thinking, "Why is every station running the same two-month-old Lindsay Lohan DUI and cocaine story? And since when do serious news shows have summer repeats?"
But as I surfed past Larry King and moved on to Nancy Grace, I realized it was not Groundhog Day or April Fools. Our girl was at it again, falling off the wagon and spinning out of control. Her life was spiraling downward like Alice through the looking glass, but this fairy tale may not have a happy ending.
Lindsay's version of the truth? The cocaine in the glove compartment wasn't hers. The jeans she was wearing weren't hers, so the cocaine she brought to jail couldn't be hers either.
The media wants to portray young Hollywood as spinning out of control, and they are. They are young, misguided and spoiled. But how can they not be when surrounded by enablers?
The years 2006-2007 will be remembered as the years that tabloid gossip -- usually relegated to supermarket gossip mags -- found a home in serious headline news.
Normally sedate, chic and dignified anchors like Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters, Matt Lauder, Anderson Cooper and Larry King reported on the life, times and tribulations of teen queens and poptarts like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Anna Nicole Smith with a level of coverage more fitting for heads of state or catastrophic disasters.
Personally, I've got a vested interest -- I actually like these girls. I know you are smart, sweet and entertaining. We've had some fun and laughs, and I can relate to the fabulousness and the loneliness.
When my girls J.Lo, Jada, Sandy, Selma and Halle ruled the red carpets, they were adults. They were there because they were glamorous, talented and promoting their newest project or a charity that might actually raise money to help someone in need.
Nowadays celebs throw on a designer gown and hit the red carpet for the opening of an envelope.
Lindsay and Britney are like little girls playing dress up in a grown-up world. It's like a dream come true, but it can also be a nightmare. They are paying a price for their fame -- with their innocence, minds, bodies, dignity and careers.
Let's be clear, though -- they are not helpless victims. These girls encourage media attention. But what can the future hold if your present tarnishes everything you've got?
Celebrities and drugs, parties and rowdy behavior have gone hand in hand since the days of silent film. Just glance at a few chapters of the book "Hollywood Babylon," and you'll see that these modern day pop icons aren't that different than their predecessors.
Lindsay is our modern day Judy Garland. Will Britney succumb to a lobotomy at her mother's request, like the gorgeous and talented Francis Farmer?
Anna Nicole's self-fulfilling demise and overdose harks back to Marilyn Monroe. And how can Nicole not become the next Dorothy Dandridge?
And then there's Paris. What can I say to snap her out of this crap? It seems like only yesterday we first met during Fashion Week (it's actually been about five years).