Pastors Say Let's Talk About Sex in Church

Oct. 17, 2006 — -- On a recent Wednesday at East Hill Church in Oregon, the topic of the sermon was an unusual one -- the sex lives of parishioners.

"How many of you are married? It's not a sin," Pastor Ted Roberts said to the crowd.

"You already have a sexual partner so you don't have any sexual questions or problems. OK."

Roberts and his wife, Diane, believe that because sexual images pervade our culture, why not bring the discussion to church?

They host a series of provocative discussions they call "Sexy Christians," where they talk not about the sins of sex, but its joys.

Church leaders have traditionally left the topic of sex to the secular world, but there's a burgeoning trend among some churches across the country to address human sexuality.

In sermons and special seminars, pastors are tackling topics ranging from how to keep passion in a long-term relationship to how to recover from porn and sex addiction.

A new billboard in New Jersey advertising the Web site Mysexlifestinks.com is not an ad for an online chat group, but for the Discovery Church, where Pastor Randy Smith hosts weekly discussion groups.

"Sex was invented by God for us to use and to enjoy," Smith said.

The Robertses, who have been married for 38 years, say God never intended sex to be sinful. But for many couples, talking about sex is steeped in shame.

They say it's time for that to change.

The Robertses experienced their share of troubles early in their own marriage. Diane says she was very unsatisfied in the first five years of their marriage. She believes the onus is on women to communicate their needs to their husband.

"If you are not communicating, they don't know what your needs are," she said.