'Breaking the Code' : Secrets to Communicating With Teenagers
March 14, 2005 — -- Lara Fox and Hilary Frankel, both 17, have written a guide for parents on how to communicate better with their teenagers called "Breaking the Code: Two Teens Reveal the Secrets to Better Parent-Child Communication."
They appeared on "Good Morning America" to discuss what teens really hear when you talk to them and to answer questions from parents.
What You Say: Look on the bright side.
What Teens Hear: Stop overreacting. Your feelings aren't important.
What You Say: Back in my day ...
What Teens Hear: Nothing has changed in the world.
What You Say: You'll thank me later.
What Teens Hear: I don't have time to explain my reasoning.
Parents also had the chance to ask Lara and Hilary some tough questions.
Question: If my teens have friends I don't approve of, how should I handle it?
Answer: First, don't jump to conclusions. Just because a teen has blue hair and wears black nail polish doesn't mean they are bad people. But if you're really worried about a friend's behavior, try to relate a personal experience to your teen. They may not respond immediately, but some of what you say will sink in.
Question: How do I get a straight answer from my teen?
Answer: Preface your question with respect. For example, start by saying, 'I know you know this already, but I really want to talk to you about ..." Also, don't just barge into your teens' room or interrupt them if they're in the middle of something. Assume their time is also important and schedule a time to talk.
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