'The Modern Girl's Guide to Sticky Situations,' by Jane Buckingham

In this situation, you need to be understanding and he needs to get you off. Suggest that he see a doctor or a counselor to find out whether the problem is physical or psychological and to look into options like Viagra or therapy. But, more important, accept him as he is and let him know that you can have pleasurable sexual experiences without his hard-on. Experiment with toys and massage, or just make out like teenagers. By taking some of the pressure off his erection (so to speak), you can relieve some of his performance anxiety, which might even solve the problem. Just be patient . . . and creative.

His penis is too big -- or too small.

Supposedly a huge "member" is every woman's fantasy, but in reality, sleeping with someone with a too-large penis can be uncomfortable and even painful. At least discussing this problem won't harm his ego. Tell him he has a monster c*** -- the biggest you've ever seen -- and suggest that you use lube or extra foreplay to make sex more comfortable for you.

Got yourself a short man instead? Thankfully, the saying "It's not the size of the wave, it's the motion in the ocean" happens to be true. Experiment with rolling your hips or having him rock his pelvis back and forth when he's with you. The extra effort will up your sensation tremendously.

Your mate wants to have a threesome.

Well, are you interested? If so, it should absolutely be on your terms. You get to choose the girl (or guy) who joins you and you get to decide how much action either of you participates in. You and your man should set guidelines -- are you comfortable with him penetrating another woman, or would you prefer him to be voyeur to the girl-on-girl? When it comes to selecting a third party, skip your friends and peruse the online dirty personals or find an old acquaintance -- preferably from out of town, whom you won't see often and who is less likely to spill the beans to mutual friends. As in any Internet dating situation, you want to do some careful vetting -- have drinks with your prospective double date and work up to the main event. But be very, very careful -- this could really change the dynamic of your relationship, so think hard before you leap in this regard. And here's the thing: If you aren't okay with the word potentially getting out that you had a threesome, don't do it! If there is one thing a man likes more than a threesome, it's telling other men about his threesome. If you aren't interested, let him know and try to be supportive of his fantasy. Explore the idea with dirty talk or watch some three-way porn together.

You fight every time you have sex.

Is arguing an aphrodisiac for you, or are you just fighting about bad sex? If you need to be charged up to get it on, you might be substituting one kind of passion for another. Simply discussing this propensity will help you avoid the habit of picking fights. Instead, try incorporating some role play that will allow you to have some hot arguments without damaging your relationship. If bad sex is your problem, try to take away the pressure of a climax by slowing things down. Play at being inexperienced teenagers again -- spend a night holding each other, work up to removing clothes and rounding the bases. Consider holding off on full intercourse for as long as it takes for you to rebuild your intimacy.

He wants sex much more frequently than you do -- or vice versa.

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