Bethenny Frankel's Journey to a 'Place of Yes'


A place of yes is about taking responsibility for moving forward, even if you have to climb over a mountain of obstacles. You are in charge, nobody else. A place of yes is your engine. Your energy changes, and people around you sense it. They want it to rub off on them, and it does. Incredible opportunities start happening and people start reacting differently to you. The world around you changes, not because the universe suddenly decides you are worthy, but because you change it. You stop being a victim and you start being the ruler of your own destiny. And that, my friend, is the point and purpose of coming from a place of yes.

The bottom line is that when you come from a place of yes, you don't wish something to happen. You make it happen. You are driving. You don't daydream in the passenger seat of life; you don't hand over the work you need to do to somebody else and then sit back, waiting to reap rewards that never come. You don't wait.

Instead, think about the things that you wish would happen to you in your life. Are you waiting for them to happen? Deep down, do you think they won't happen? This can apply to anything—getting a job, finding love, losing weight, making more money, getting organized, making more time for family, whatever it is. How proactive are you being in reaching that desire? Coming from a place of yes is hard work, but it's the work of a lifetime, your lifetime.

Your Noise, Your Voice

Another important concept to understand is the difference between noise and voice.

I first heard the term "noise" years ago, from Breck Costin, a life coach who teaches a course called Absolute Freedom, about how to clarify what you are doing with your life. He used the term in a different way, but it resonated for me. I've thought about it over the years since then, and developed the idea into something that works for me.

To me, noise is what gets in your way. It's a self generated obstacle, the negative talk inside your head that keeps you down, too afraid to go for what you want.

There are many types of noise, and in each chapter of this book, with each new rule, I'll also talk about a specific kind of noise that tends to crop up along with that rule. Noise can come in many forms—food noise, money noise, beauty noise, relationship noise, family noise, call it what you will—each person develops personalized noise, but in general, noise is that feeling you get that you aren't good enough, or you don't deserve what you want, or you'll never be able to be the person you wish you could be. Noise holds you back. It psychs you out. It distracts you and blocks you and makes you believe there are insurmountable obstacles in your path.

'A Place of Yes'

Most of us have noise about something, but knowing this doesn't mean you'll automatically be able to make it stop. If you have noise that you don't recognize and can't control, and I say to you, "All you have to do is come from a place of yes," what you hear is, "All you have to do is quit your job and get a new one" or "All you have to do is eat less and exercise more" or "All you have to do is leave him" or "All you have to do is push this two-ton boulder up this mountain." We all know that doesn't work. It's too hard. Noise makes it too hard.

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