Terry Real Answers Your Questions About Cheating and Marriage

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Ashley, what the two of you sound like to my old ears is mostly young. You don't get back at someone who's cheated by cheating yourself. Yes, you do need marriage counseling to see if the respect you once had can be restored. It's for you both to forgive, if not forget.

Lashelle writes:

Is it always necessary to confront the mistress once you've discovered the affair, especially when the mistress has shown signs of being emotionally and mentally unstable?

Real answers:

About as necessary as wiping your face with poison ivy. Don't get involved, particularly if she's unstable. Just concentrate on putting your own relationship back on track.

Robin writes:

I caught my husband in a 9-month affair two months ago. He slowly has decided to quit the long distance affair and wants to try to make our marriage work.

He isn't as excited about coming back to me as he was two weeks ago. Are things going too fast? Are they ever going to be better? Sometimes I really think he wants that free life he had (or thought he had).

I know there were things I have to change but basically he is a man who gets bored with life about every five years. He starts something new or moves, or builds a new house and he knows this. We are going to a marriage counselor, but he HATES this counselor. I told him I'll go to someone else, but we HAVE to go! My crazy mood swings and emotions are almost too much for my husband. Any suggestions?

I mentioned being a couple on this show, and he said, 'No way! Letting the whole world know?' I dont think he would do it, but we would be a perfect couple for this. Thank you! I think today is just a good day for me. We hopefully will make our relationship work. I pray he really wants to be with me. I pray I can get over this eventually.

Real answers:

Yes, you can get over this and it can get better but you both have to be willing to put in a great deal of work and effort and it's not clear from the way you write that your husband's fully on board. Do switch counselors but don't drop out of counseling - that would be a terrible idea. And pick a counselor who is fair but tough enough to stand up to your husband. Good luck!

To all: Anyone looking for a marriage counselor trained in my method is welcome to visit our website for a listing of trained local therapists around the country.

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