Calorie Equivalent: 6.5 McDonald's Fruit 'N Yogurt Parfaits (no granola) OR 3 McDonald's Strawberry Sundaes
Drink This Instead: Large Coffee Coolatta with Milk (32 fl oz)
480 calories 8 g fat (5 g saturated) 98 g sugars
Here's an important lesson that will save everybody a load of calories: Aside from a little caffeine, frozen coffee drinks have nothing in common with actual coffee. Nutritionally they belong in the same category as milkshakes. If you're starting your day with something like this, you've just burnt through more than 40% of your day's caloric limit before your first meal. So unless you're eating nothing but carrot sticks the rest of the day, you've just added a fresh hunk of flab to your frame.
So if you're set on a Coolatta, switch from vanilla to coffee flavoring and specify that you want milk instead of the usual cream. That still gives you a massively indulgent beverage—certainly not the sort of thing you should be drinking on a regular basis—but it will save you a load of calories over the go-to Vanilla Bean Coolatta. Order it as a rare treat, sweet-talk a friend into splitting it with you, and you'll do just fine.
Not That: Glaceau Vitamin Water Focus Kiwi-Strawberry (20 fl oz bottle)
125 calories 0 g fat 32.5 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 1.5 Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bars
Drink This Instead: Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Go-Go Mixed Berry (20 fl oz bottle)
0 calories 0 g fat <1 g sugars
This pretty well sums up America's drinking problem—even the water has more sugar than a candy bar. If you drink one of these every day in place of real, old-fashioned H20, you'll gain 13 pounds in a year. Instead, opt for the new Vitamin Water Zero that just came out. It's got zero calories and its not sweetened with aspartame or any of that junk that goes into most diet sodas. Instead it's sweetened primarily with stevia, the only FDA-approved artificial sweetener that comes from a plant*. Plus you still get all the B vitamins and vitamin C.
Not That: Cold Stone PB&C Shake (Like It Size, 16 fl oz)
1280 calories 82 g fat (45 g saturated, 2 g trans) 104 g sugars
Calorie Equivalent: 12 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Drink This Instead: Cold Stone Creamery Sinless Oh Fudge Shake (Like it Size, 16 fl oz)
490 calories 2 g fat (2 g saturated) 44 g sugars
The "PB&C" actually has two separate meanings. It represents the flavor: Peanut Butter and Chocolate, and the bodily effect: Pot Bellied and Chubby. Really—this cup alone is enough to add a third-pound of flab to the human body. And believe it or not, this is a small! Order a large, which is just 8 extra ounces of milkshake, and you're looking at more than 2000 calories. That's an entire day's worth of energy packaged with three-and-a-half day's worth of saturated fat and more than 600 calories of pure sugar. It's probably the most harm you can inflict on your body in 10 minutes.
Unfortunately no ice cream shop has yet invented a really delicious, low-calorie shake, so Cold Stone's Sinless line is about as good as you'll get. The 16-ounce Oh Fudge is actually the only shake on the menu to weigh in with fewer than 500 calories.
More from Men's Health:
Not That: Hi-C Torrential Tropical Punch (6.75 fl oz)
100 calories 0 g fat 25 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 4 Kiddie Cones from McDonald's