Life Makes No Sense for Wife of Man Lost at Sea

March 2, 2006 — -- Jennifer Hagel Smith's husband, George, was lost at sea seven months ago, but the 26-year-old still wears her wedding ring.

"It takes me to a time when he gave me the ring and right before he put it on my hand. I remember him saying, 'I have loved you for so long,'" Jennifer said. "I think of how innocent we were. Everything was right in the world, and we could see our future together."

That future she imagined is nothing like the life she is living now.

George Smith disappeared on July 5, during the couple's honeymoon cruise through the Mediterranean. The couple had been drinking the night before, and Jennifer says she can only remember pieces of the evening.

"I wish that it was me, not George," Jennifer said. "To me, that's what marriage is, you're one. You put yourself on the line for someone else."

When Jennifer returned to Connecticut alone, her life no longer made sense.

"For the first couple of weeks, she slept with us," said Jennifer's mother, Deborah Hagel.

"Literally, I'm with my parents around the clock," Jennifer said. "I'm like a 5-year-old kid. I love them to death, but it's just not natural."

Media scrutiny criticizing Jennifer for drinking the night her husband disappeared has hurt her emotionally and stunted her professionally.

She was hired for a new job at the end of January 2006, but the CEO of the company saw an evening-news report the night before and rescinded the offer.

"It just hit us all like a ton of bricks that, you can't even get a job right now," Jennifer said.

But Jennifer said the most painful blow had been George's family cutting off all contact with her. She still hopes to salvage her last connection with George.

"I fantasize about driving over there, knocking on their door, and having his parents answer and just a release, like crying, hugs, just for us to get it out," Jennifer said. "I don't want to be how we are like now."

Jennifer still has trouble looking at her wedding photos, and she says she relives the day George disappeared constantly.

"Everything's gone," she said. "George was everything to me, and now he's no longer here."