Mercury Milan -- A Whale Tale

March 17, 2006 — -- Is it weird that the first thing I think of when looking at the front end of the Mercury Milan is baleen? You know, those whale "teeth" that filter out yummy plankton for them to eat? Or krill for you "Finding Nemo" fans.

Other than that, the Mercury Milan does not resemble whales, or even fish for that matter. It does, however, resemble its close sisters, the Ford Fusion and the Lincoln Zephyr. The Fusion replaces the baleen with a three-blade razorlike cartridge grille, and the Zephyr just does a luxed-up version of the baleen.

The Milan is a nice, simple car. It gets the job done without a fuss. This simplicity is what sets it apart. Sometimes it's just nice to get into a car without feeling like I need to be a computer hacker just to operate the vehicle.

My kids can open the doors and climb in on their own. The latch connectors are fine, nothing unique. For carpooling, I'm forced to load my oldest in the front passenger's seat since I can't squeeze her booster between the other two already loaded in back. Although I'm not totally comfortable with this, my only other option is strapping her to the roof, and I'm thinking that can't be safe! At least the air bag turns off automatically.

The in-dash storage compartment is more accessible for the driver than the glove box. Accessibility rocks! The two-tiered center console is perfect for CDs and smaller items. And I love the steering wheel-mounted controls. Mercury doesn't just give me radio buttons, but climate controls as well! How about that, huh?

The biggest downer for me is that the cargo space is a pain! There is no manual trunk release actually on the trunk, leaving me fumbling for the release button on my key fob. Another option is to place the key in the trunk lock to open it. Who does that anymore? That seems almost as antiquated as turning a hand crank to open windows -- don't worry, the Milan offers power windows. And speaking of the trunk, there is no handhold for me to use to close it. I get my hands all grimy when I close the trunk. Maybe a small complaint, but I happen to like clean hands.