Maria Shriver: Living with Alzheimer's in the Family

May 8, 2009 — -- California first lady Maria Shriver said that her children taught her the most about interacting with her father, Sargent Shriver, who has Alzheimer's disease.

"My kids dealt with the person that was sitting in front of them. Like, 'What are you doing, Grandpa?' And, 'What are you doing today?' And they didn't get into who my father was. They just got into who he was then. And I think that was a very valuable lesson to me," Shriver told "Good Morning America."

"Accept the person that's sitting in front of you. Stop trying to make them who they were. Let it go," she said.

Diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease six years ago, Sargent Shriver, 93, has motivated his daughter to get involved with an upcoming four-part HBO documentary, "The Alzheimer's Project."

Shriver hopes that the documentary will help lift some of the fear, shame, guilt and confusion that surround the disease.

While Alzheimer's is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States, a study by the MetLife Foundation found that people over 55 fear Alzheimer's more than cancer, diabetes or stroke.

"If Alzheimer's comes into your family, it doesn't just affect the person who gets Alzheimer's. It affects everybody, on every level. ...The cost of it. The emotional wear and tear," Shriver said.

While her face may be recognizable to millions of Americans, when Shriver visits her father, he has no idea who she is.

"I think you have to recalibrate yourself every single time you see your father, and you have to introduce yourself to him," Shriver told "GMA" today.

When she walks into his room, Shriver must tell her father that she is his daughter and that her name is Maria.

"He'll go, 'Oh, my goodness, you are?'" she said.

She has become so passionate about the effects of Alzheimer's that she even testified before Congress. Afterward, she said her office was inundated with letters from people who relate to what's happening to her family and her father.

"At the age of 93, my dad still goes to Mass every day. And believe it or not, he still remembers the Hail Mary. But he doesn't remember me, Maria," she said before Congress last month. "I'd be lying if I didn't admit that still makes me cry."

Shriver said she wants to tell her father what's going on in her life but can only support him and make him comfortable.

She said she's realized that all she can do is love and accept him for who he is now, not who he was or who she wants him to be.

"And that's a pretty good lesson for life in general," she said.

Shriver, who was the co-executive producer on "The Alzheimer's Project," which begins airing on May 10, said she hopes the documentary will reach a broad audience in tackling topics like memory loss, living with Alzheimer's disease and the science of finding a cure.