Book Excerpt: There Goes the Bride

Runaway Bride may have been based more in reality than one would might have assumed. In Rachel Safier and Wendy Roberts' There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On, real "almost-brides" reveal how they managed to call off their weddings.

In many cases, the women featured in There Goes the Bride, were forced to call off what many women, and men, consider to be the most important day of their life — their wedding day. How did they live to tell about it? Read their stories in an excerpt from the book:

Chapter Four: Saying It Out Loud:

One night, I met my sister in the city, as we were traveling to our parents' house together. We stopped to get some crisps [potato chips], and the shopkeeper said in passing, "Have a great day-life is about having fun," and I said to my sister, "You know what? I'm not having fun." And then I told her everything that I had kept from my family. That night I stayed at my parents'. - Sandy

Before beginning the emotional work of getting over your loss, you're going to need to unravel the complex quilt that was your wedding. If you are early in the planning process, you'll "only" have to deal with telling people. If you are close to the wedding day (say, two weeks out, as I was), you'll have the added joy of contacting vendors. Lucky for you, the Almost Brides have been there, and we've got some wisdom for you.

TELLING FAMILY

I dreaded telling my family that Mark and I were having serious problems. I had the irrational fear that my parents would somehow blame me for not being good enough for Mark or serious enough about marriage, or think I had somehow "ruined" a perfectly good thing. One afternoon, over the phone, the rabbi walked us through the wedding ceremony. When he got to the part in the Jewish ceremony where the groom pulls the handkerchief out of the rabbi's hand, symbolizing that he is entering into marriage of his own free will and signaling that the ceremony can proceed, the rabbi asked if I wanted to have the same opportunity, as ours was to be an egalitarian ceremony.

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