11 Rules of Running Buddy Etiquette

— -- Over the weekend, I asked a girlfriend to join me for a jog along the Hudson River Park Bikeway. The weather was perfect, so we agreed to run to Chelsea Piers and back and stop for coffee afterward. But we started off on an awkward foot—no pun intended—when I whipped out headphones, while she was presumably planning to, well, enjoy my company. (Gasp!)

Needless to say, I missed the no-music memo that any seasoned runner is probably well aware of when it comes to teaming up with a Running Buddy. As I made a mental note to silence Spotify next time I reach out to [insert name here] for a workout (if she’ll still have me!), it got me thinking—what other unspoken laws of running sisterhood should I abide by?

Like all successful relationships, having a running buddy requires communication and compromise, explains Jessica Woods, a running coach for both Mile High Run Club and Nike+ Run Club in New York City. “You may have to adjust your workout if you prefer running with a friend,” she says.

But if you can coordinate your schedules, paces, and distances once in a while, there can be major benefits. “It’s someone to hold you accountable,” says Woods. “A friend can push you if you’re having an off day, and it’s just nice to get lost in conversation sometimes—it makes the time go by faster.” (As an athlete who has completed 13 ultramarathons since 2012, let’s just say Woods has trained beside a few fellow runners in her days.)

Here are some tips to consider before lacing up beside a friend:

If you set up the running date, offer to meet the other person where it’s convenient for her

“Honestly, I always offer to meet the other person,” says Woods, and it’s doable whether you’re in the suburbs with car access, or in a busy metropolis.

“It’s easy in New York City with the amount of subways and Citi Bike options we have,” she adds. “I’m also a member of New York Sports Club, so it’s quite easy to find a drop off and shower location near any meet-up route.”

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Skip the music

“I can’t say I have ever run with a running buddy who asks to listen to music,” she says. “I think one of the major benefits of running with a friend is the conversation.” (Apologies to my running buddy who shall remain nameless.)

But what if…

I’m way too out of breath to hold a decent convo. Woods says, “If you’re running faster than conversation pace, there’s something comforting in running side by side in silence.”

Beyoncé just dropped a new album and it’s basically the fire beneath your soles. Your best bet is to address the earbud situation before the run to avoid doing something your friend really hates, Woods explains. Let your friend know that you love running with background tunes, and ask if she’d be annoyed if you have one earbud in on your opposite side, with the music turned down low.

Talk about your running pet peeves before you take off

“If this person is going to be your go-to running partner, you should talk about all the likes and dislikes and pet peeves ahead of time—maybe on a nice easy recovery day—and set all of those expectations up front,” suggests Woods.

Not into chit-chatting? Offended if your zippy pal speeds ahead? Speak up, she says. “We all have our quirky tendencies, and I’m a classic over-sharer, so I’m not shy about addressing them head on,” Woods adds.