Readers Respond: Plight of caring for aging parents touched many

This is an interesting article. I am 81 going on 82 and my wife just turned 81. We are hale and hearty. We both cared for my mother who died at age 88. She was in a nursing home last 2 years and my wife fed her lunch and I fed her supper every day. I also ordered her menu. She was pretty well out of it the last 3-4 months and did not recognize either of it. Worst part was taking her car away, or rather stopping her driving with 3 accidents in one day. Removed the battery and let the Cadillac rust away under the carport. This is a bad deal for anyone. We do not know what will occur when we become unable to care for outselves. Two sons and two daughters all away from here, very successful, and very busy making a lot of money. It will probably be an extended care facility. We do not wish to be a burdin on anyone, nor interfer with their lives!All property in two trusts with children as successors, living wills, everything. Adequate money to do what-ever it takes.JohnPaulJones (Navy WWII)

Workplace issues

ibw wrote:

I don't think enough is said about the effect on the workplace of caring for elderly parents. As an only child in my 30s I feel like I am ahead of the elder care curve. My mother was sick for many years with complications from diabetes but somehow always had a positive attitude. My father, also the eternal optimist, cared for my mother for the last 4 years of her life during which time he retired to be able to sit by her side 8 hours per day 7 days per week. It was also during that time that he was diagnosed w/ Parkinson's. He deteriorated quickly b/c he only focused on my mother's health and not his own. So when my mother died 3 years ago, my husband and I began to care for my father at our home. He had become completely unstable and a bit forgetful. We moved him from one state to come to another to live w/ us. We had around the clock care in our home which cost a fortune and I missed a lot of work. No one at my place of employment understood why my phone would ring all day or why I would have to leave in the middle of the day. While my colleagues were close to twice my age or Boomers, none of them had ever had to care for an aging parent and so they looked at me w/ complete disdain and constantly made snide comments. Luckily my supervisor and the CEO were supportive and gave me the flexibility I needed so that it didn't matter what anyone else said. I was far more productive and didn't miss any deadlines when given the flexibility to work from home or the ER or the doctor's office. Employers need to prepare for this kind of situation and provide that support. The most innovative companies share elder care expenses w/ employees. My new company covered elder care expenses while my husband and I went on a one week house hunting trip! They have also arranged w/ the relocation service to help us find elder care services in our new town/ state. It makes a huge difference.

sport wrote:

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