Single and Wanting Children, Some Men Seek 'Gestational Carriers'

A year ago, David, a successful and single 51-year-old attorney, was engaged to a woman he described as "what you would want in life: a lawyer, pretty, intelligent and always wearing Chanel outfits."

However, he started to realize that maybe she wasn't the one for him. At the same time, he also felt strongly about something else: He wanted to be a father.

"I realized that I didn't need to get married to have kids," said David, who asked that his last name not be used.

He is among a growing number of single men who, as they near their 40s or even 50s, are determined to have children -- even if they have not yet found their ideal life partner.

After splitting from his fiancée, David considered adoption as an alternative means of having children.

"But it was nearly impossible because I was 50 and single," he said. "Many young women giving up their kids often wanted a married couple to adopt their kid."

So David decided that his best option was to join Growing Generations, one of the largest surrogacy agencies in California. He chose an egg donor, and, in addition, a "gestational carrier" to bear his child. Gestational carriers are women who agree to carry embryos composed of donors' or intended parents' sperm and eggs.

Hard numbers on the trend are hard to come by, but a doctor at one of the world's largest fertility treatment centers said he has seen more men like David in the last several years.

"They come from all walks of life: doctors, lawyers, bankers," said Dr. Richard Scott, a physician at Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey.

The trend may be spurred by a growing number of men and women who choose to be single and no longer feel the pressure to get married, said Stuart Miller, CEO of Growing Generations. Ten to 12 percent of his client base is single, he said. This figure includes both sexes.

'Not for the Meek at Heart'

"The decision [to have a child] is too important to forego just because someone else is not around," said Jeff Bloch, a 47-year-old freelance media trainer who is now raising two children on his own. He is gay. "I'd rather be a parent by myself.

However, Scott said, having a child through artificial reproductive technology and surrogacy is "not for the meek at heart."

"If you're hesitant, then don't do it," he said, explaining that couples and single people who come to his office receive psychological tests to help assure that they will likely be competent, committed parents.

Legal hassles often accompany the psychological and emotional toll of artificial reproductive technology and surrogacy. To avoid this, many intended parents pursue gestational surrogacy in order to decrease the risk of a surrogate winning a lawsuit by being awarded custody of the child after giving birth.

Melissa Brisman, an attorney who regularly negotiates different types of reproductive arrangements, including gestational carrier contracts, said that so far she has not heard of a case where a gestational carrier wanted to keep the baby. That's because the woman carrying the baby feels less of an attachment since she has no biological connection to the baby. The donor's eggs were implanted in her.

The surrogacy-agency business remains controversial and illegal in certain states. Intended parents must often work closely with lawyers because of the different state laws regarding the legality of surrogacy and the legal rights of the intended parents.

Page
  • 1
  • |
  • 2
null
Join the Discussion
You are using an outdated version of Internet Explorer. Please click here to upgrade your browser in order to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus
 
You Might Also Like...