In New York, Rhode Island and Maryland, same-sex marriages cannot be performed, but they are legally recognized.
Groups opposed to same-sex marriage say DOMA is in the best interests of children.
"There will always be exceptions, but the definition of marriage affects all American children," said Ashley Horne, federal policy analyst for CitizenLink, a policy arm of Focus on the Family.
"A compassionate society promotes what is in their best interest, and that includes policies that would give every child a chance for both a mother and a father."
She said these couples know that legislative efforts to overturn DOMA will fail. "There's a reason they're not doing that -- they don't have the votes."
"Polls have tended to overestimate voter support for redefining marriage, but the national discussion gives thoughtful Americans the opportunity to consider the purpose of marriage -- -whether it's most valuable as validation for adult relationships, or as the only family structure that attempts to give a mother and father to every child," said Horne.
Many states have constitutional bans on same-sex marriage, while others have passed laws through their legislatures.
For now, both Velandia and Vandiver are unsettled about the law.
Vandiver is optimistic that "equality and fairness will win," but he said, "No one should lose a spouse when a law is in dispute for being unconstitutional."
"I never imagined it was possible that a spouse could be taken away by the government and deported to another country and forced to leave," said Vandiver. "They threaten to take away the thing you love the most."