Karezza: Men Say Best Sex Comes Without Orgasm

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Overstimulation of the pleasure receptors can also desensitize the brain to pleasure or create a craving for more. When men are addicted to pornography or have frequent orgasms, "no amount of pleasure can satisfy," she said. "We are always looking for something novel."

But in karezza, lovemaking never finishes, so sexual energy continues to flow, helping to prevent boredom with a partner, say advocates.

Karezza also elicits the relaxation response and encourages the brain to release the "love" hormone ocytocin, which helps in bonding behavior.

Robinson, unable to sustain intimacy, had been married twice before meeting her husband Gary Wilson, a former science teacher who helped her in her research. He had experienced depression and alcohol addiction, but after the couple explored karezza together, he was able to give up Prozac and drinking.

She found she was able to sustain a lasting and harmonious marriage.

"We sit tight, next to each other 24/7 and are never apart," said Wilson. "I don't feel the need to have my space, which is unusual."

Though many other men look at Wilson "like I am crazy," he said karezza can surprisingly help "rekindle things" in a long-term relationship.

Such was the case with Darryl Keil, a 56-year-old furniture maker from Brunswick, Maine, who has been married to his wife Annabelle for 29 years. They run a business and homeschooled two sons together.

About 14 years ago he read a book on sex and Taoism after feeling "depleted" and looking for something to rejuvenate their sex lives. Eventually, that led him to karezza.

For the last eight years neither one has had an intentional orgasm. He calls the old sex: "lick, pump, squirt, snore," an act that was driven by the man.

Now, his wife feels she is an equal partner in the bedroom. They are having sex every day -- "and it's not boring," said Keil, who is writing a book and runs small workshops.

"It's really alive, great sex with great feeling," said Keil. "The pleasure goes up another level ... You follow the sensation in your body, not the stimulation."

Most men who have never heard of karezza look at Keil as if he were a "freak of nature."

'It's just hard to get men to want to skip orgasms," he said. "One guy said to me, you want me to climb 10,000 feet up Mt. Everest and not get to the top?"

Like others, the Keils experience occasional orgasms "accidentally," but karezza guru Marnia Robinson said it does not violate any rules.

"I have orgasms and it's no big deal -- gentle lovemaking sometimes slips over the edges and that's nice," she said.

For each couple, the experience is different.

"The natural 'karezzanauts' would be committed couples who want to sweeten the harmony of their relationships," said Robinson.

But young people, too, can try their hand at karezza, she said. In the very least, the practice is an effective form of birth control.

"I doubt any of us forget how to have conventional sex if pregnancy is desired," she said. "You can still ride a bike, even if you drive a car."

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