Excerpt: 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer'

Aug. 15 -- "Why is my baby crying?" "How long should a feeding take?" These are some of the most frequent questions new parents have, according to best-selling author Tracy Hogg.

In her new book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, she advises new moms and dads on how to get past the insecurity and fear some have after bringing the baby home from the hospital.

Chapter 1

Oh My God, We Have a Baby!

No event in an adult's life equals both the joy and the terror of becominga parent for the first time. Fortunately, it's the joy that carries on.But in the beginning, insecurity and fear often take over. Alan, forexample, a thirty-three-year-old graphic designer, vividly remembers theday he picked up his wife, Susan, from the hospital. Coincidentally, itwas their fourth anniversary. Susan, a writer, age twenty-seven, had had afairly easy labor and birth, and their beautiful blue-eyed baby, Aaron,nursed easily and rarely cried. By day two, Mum and Dad were eager toleave the hubbub of the hospital to start life as a family.

"I whistled as I walked down the hall toward her room," Alan recalls."Everything seemed perfect. Aaron had nursed right before I got there, andnow he was sleeping in Susan's arms. It was just as I imagined it wouldbe. We went down in the elevator, and the nurse let me wheel Susan outinto the sunlight. When I ran for the car door, I realized I'd forgottento set up the infant seat. I swear it took me half an hour to get it inright. Finally, I gently slid Aaron in. He was such an angel. I helpedSusan into the car, thanked the nurse for her patience, and then climbedinto the driver's seat.

"Suddenly, Aaron started making little noises from the backseat — not reallycrying, but sounds I didn't recall hearing in the hospital or maybe hadn'tnoticed. Susan looked at me, and I looked at her. 'Oh, Jesus!' Iexclaimed. 'What do we do now?' "

Every parent I know has a what-now moment like Alan's. For some it comesin the hospital; for others it arrives on the trip home, or even on thesecond or third day. There's so much going on — the physical recovery, theemotional impact, the reality of caring for a helpless infant. Few areprepared for the shock. Some new mothers admit, "I read all the books, butnothing prepared me." Others recall, "There was so much to think about. Icried a lot."

The first three to five days are often the most difficult becauseeverything is new and daunting. Typically, I'm bombarded by queries fromanxious parents: "How long should a feeding take?" "Why does she pull herlegs up like that?" "Is this the right way to change him?" "Why is herpoop that color?" And, of course, the most persistent question of alltime: "Why is he crying?" Parents, particularly mums, often feel guiltybecause they think they're supposed to know everything. The mother of aone-month-old said to me, "I was so afraid I'd do something wrong, but atthe same time, I didn't want anyone to help me or tell me what to do."