"Your birth mother was referred to us by Catholic Charities," Freund said. "She got pregnant on her school break. She was a school teacher."
"Wow," Guditus said.
And, then, a bit of reassuring emotional information about the mother:
"She gave signs of caring, she brought you from the hospital here, she didn't want to sign surrender until you had a permanent home. She wanted to know that you were in a good home. "
And while she may have showed signs of caring, contacting her birth mother now is a different story and raised some concerns that Freund wanted to discuss with Cynthia Guditus.
"She was private, which is one of the issues you may have to deal with, which was how private did she want to stay about this?"
Guditus said, "that's been my biggest concerns from the beginning. I don't want to intrude on her life if she is a private person, you know. I don't want to walk in 43 years later and be like, 'Hi.'"
While they do not object to her search, Guditus still wrestles with complicated emotions like the feeling of disloyalty to her beloved adoptive parents — the parents who raised her.
"That was my biggest issue, like I just didn't want to do anything that would upset my parents" she said. "I wanted to make sure that they were supportive, and they were and that was great. But I still … didn't tell my mom I was coming in today."
Guditus' concern for the feelings of her adoptive parents, who recently renewed their wedding vows after 50 years of marriage, is typical of most adoptees that choose to search. Searches usually begin with locating the birth mother first and then branching out to locate the biological father and any possible siblings.
"The birth father; we know that she met him on a school break," Freund said. "He was a swimming and diving instructor."
Uppon learning this, Guditus delighted in a common link to him, that she herself is a very strong swimmer.
Other key details emerged. She learned when her biological parents were born and that her biological mother was Catholic.
"We might as well put on the table my big disagreement with Pam," Freund said. "We're both right and both wrong. I think the gentlest way to approach someone is write a letter … and I wouldn't even put a return address on it … just a plain envelop with a plain note, not too much, not too overwhelming. … Pam, personally, for her, she likes a phone call and my problem with a phone call is if she is not alone in the room, it's a shock."
Guditus said, "I agree and what about if the person next to her doesn't know her. Her husband doesn't know, her daughter, or her granddaughter is there, I mean, you know ?"
Later, Guditus and Slaton sat down to discuss what she has found. With the information provided by Foundling and the number on Guditus' birth certificate, Slaton got to work using specialized databases.
A short while later, she uncovered the identity of Guditus' birth mother. "I believe we are looking at the information of the biological mother," Slaton said.
After 43 years living with this mystery, Guditus was about to learn the identity of her birth mother.
"I did find her birth mother for her and she is alive, which is the great news," Slaton said.
"My heart is in my throat," Guditus said.