"They'll just dig it up anyway," said Thezion. "I hate politicans who lie. I tell the truth, I have nothing to hide, why would I want to hide something?"
Thezion writes on his website that he use to be a habitual drug user, using "pounds and pounds" of marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine and alcohol, before finding God and "giving up his sinful ways."
"I grew up a loose liberal which is why I'm a conservative today," he writes.
Explaining that he is running for office because he has "no choice," Thezion vows that if elected he will "abolish the Internal Revenue Service" and "pay off the entire national debt, permanently."
Presidential hopeful Rutherford B Hayes, not to be confused with the nineteenth president of the United States by the same name, writes on his website, "The current administration is engulfed with socialists, communists, and marxists as well as insatiable condesending egos."
Unable to be reached for comment, Hayes might best be reached by his supports via Twitter, where he goes by "2012Hopeful."