POLL: American Sex Survey

The 'O' Word

Three-quarters of sexually active men say they "always" have an orgasm, while just 30 percent of women say the same. An additional 45 percent of women say they have an orgasm "most of the time," but not always.

The Big 'O': Men vs Women
	Men	Women
Always have orgasms	74%	30
Usually	23	45
Less often	3	24

As noted, nearly half of women report having faked an orgasm, but they aren't the only thespians: Eleven percent of men say they've done so too. Asked why they faked it, men and women alike speak mainly about either pleasing their partner or getting done.

Faking orgasms suggests dissatisfaction for some women; it's higher among women who've cheated on a spouse, are dissatisfied with their sex lives and are less than very satisfied with their marriages. But for others that doesn't necessarily hold: Sexually adventurous women are among the most likely always to have orgasms, yet also among the most likely to have faked them.

Women who are more likely always to have an orgasm are more apt to enjoy sex a great deal, think about it often, be satisfied with their sex lives and say their sex lives are very exciting. Always having an orgasm is least common among women age 40 and older, longtime marrieds, those who are less than very satisfied with their sex lives and with their marriage, and those who don't enjoy sex a great deal.

The orgasm gap between the sexes likely explains why men are more apt than women to enjoy sex a great deal. Among people who always have orgasms -- disproportionately men -- nearly nine in 10 enjoy sex a great deal. Among those who don't always or usually have orgasms -- mainly women -- top-level enjoyment drops to 46 percent.

Sexual Enjoyment
Have orgasms:	Enjoy sex 'a great deal'
Always	87%
Usually	74
Less often	46

Accord

Men and women are more in sync in other areas. Eight in 10 sexually active men and women alike say they have about "the right amount" of sexual foreplay. And they offer identical median estimates of the amount of time they spend having sex, including foreplay: 45 minutes.

Three-quarters of men and women alike are unworried about contracting AIDS or another sexually transmitted disease; widespread monogamy is the likely reason.

In another area of accord, three-quarters of men and women alike say it's more enjoyable to be married than dating. Sexual activity is a likely reason: Just 35 percent of singles are currently involved in a sexual relationship (rising to 51 percent of young singles), compared with 83 percent of couples (and 91 percent of couples excluding seniors).

There is room for improvement. Among people who've had sex in the last year, nearly nine in 10 describe their sex lives as exciting -- but far fewer, just over a third, call it "very exciting." Similarly, while more than seven in 10 women and men alike say they're satisfied with their sex lives, fewer -- about half -- say they're "very" satisfied. Still, that's greater than high-level satisfaction with jobs or finances, and about equal to the satisfaction people express with their health and social lives.

Americans give higher satisfaction ratings to their family lives (68 percent "very" satisfied), but the highest of all to their marriages or committed relationships. Indeed nearly everyone in a married or committed relationship is satisfied with it -- 97 percent -- including eight in 10 who are "very satisfied," men and women alike.

Big Picture

The big picture, sexually speaking, is as follows: Ninety-seven percent of adult Americans have ever had sexual intercourse; three percent are virgins. Seventy-eight percent have had sex in the last year (86 percent of men and 70 percent of women). And 64 percent are currently involved in a sexual relationship. (Excluding senior citizens, it's 72 percent.)

Among those who've had sex in the last year, the vast majority -- 86 percent -- have had a single sex partner in that time period. Far fewer adults, however, have had a single sex partner in their entire lifetime -- a quarter of women, and 12 percent of men. Coupling is the norm: More than eight in 10 Americans are either married (52 percent), living with a partner in a committed relationship (eight percent), widowed (eight percent), or gave wedlock a whirl but are now separated or divorced (15 percent). Seventeen percent -- mainly younger adults -- never have married.

The Sex Lives of Americans
Enjoy sex a great deal	70%
Very satisfied with sex life	50
Sex life very exciting	36
Sexually traditional	55
Sexually adventurous	42

Americans say they first had sex at an average age of 18 (17 for men, 18 for women). Seniors report an average first-time age of 19; for adults under 25, it's 16. In a difference between the sexes, half of women, compared with 37 percent of men, say that in retrospect that was too young to start. One percent say they first had sex at age 30 or later; one female respondent said it was at age 50, another at 42 and a man at 39.

First-time sex was too young:
Men	37%
Women	50

Those who have sex do so with some regularity: Among those currently in a sexual relationship, 85 percent have sex about once a week or more, including 41 percent several times weekly and eight percent have sex daily. And people like it: Eighty-four percent of all women and 95 percent of men enjoy sex, although, as noted, men are much (24 points) more apt to enjoy it "a great deal."

The times clearly have changed in terms of sexual mores. Fifty-five percent of adults say homosexuality is "OK for some people"; in a 1982 Gallup poll, by contrast, just 34 percent called it an acceptable lifestyle. Sixty-one percent say premarital sex is OK -- compared with just 21 percent in a Gallup poll in 1969. Seniors are the only group in which a majority still says premarital sex is not acceptable; among young singles, by contrast, 76 percent say it's OK.

The Young and the Single

Young singles (under age 30) are less inhibited in some ways, but it isn't quite "Sex and the City" out there. Indeed, young singles have sex less frequently than people in a committed relationship (naturally -- they lack a ready partner). As noted, they're less likely to be in a sexual relationship.

Young singles are no more satisfied than couples sexually and no more likely to call their sex lives very exciting. Instead it's married (or living-together) young adults who are most apt to call their sex lives very satisfying and very exciting.

Sex Lives
	Very satisfied	Very exciting
Married/ committed under 30	77%	55
Singles under 30	53	36
All 30 and older	46	33
Less often	3	24

Young singles also are no more likely than anyone else to have had sex on a first date, or to watch sex movies. Compared to all adults, more young singles are virgins (16 percent), particularly young single women.

Sexually active young singles don't have more lifetime sex partners (they're still young); they report a median of two partners in the last year, compared with a median of one for other adults. Forty-seven percent of young singles are concerned about contracting AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease, twice the level of concern among other adults. (Concern about AIDS and other STDs peaks, at 59 percent, among anyone who's had two or more sex partners in the last year.)

There are other ways young singles differ: More, about four in 10, say sex without an emotional relationship is OK. And more (especially young single men) report having had unexpected sex and outdoor sex.

Generation Gap

Young adults more broadly, whether single or in a relationship, are more progressive sexually. They're more apt to talk with partners about their sexual fantasies; 71 percent do, compared with 45 percent of their elders. They're more likely to describe themselves and their partners as sexually adventurous. They're more apt to look at sexually explicit Web sites (particularly young men -- 53 percent have done so, compared with 26 percent of young women).

Attitudinally, 65 percent of young adults say homosexuality is OK for some people, and 71 percent of young adults condone premarital sex (peaking, as noted, at 76 percent of young singles). Seniors are least likely, by far, to agree.

By Age
	Discuss fantasies	"Adventurous"	Premarital Sex OK	Homosexuality OK
18-29	71%	55	71	65
30-39	55	46	66	55
40-49	49	41	69	55
50-64	37	29	60	56
65+	22	19	30	40

Discussing Fantasies: A Thing of Youth
Age	Discussed fantasies
18-29	71%
30-39	55
40-49	49
50-64	37
65+	22