The PrimeTime Q&A is no time for Denis Leary to leave the funny lines behind. Here's what he had to say.
Q: If you could be anybody in history, who would you choose to be? A: Anybody in history? I think I would choose JFK. Because that means you get to be the president and you get to sleep with Jackie Onassis and Marilyn Monroe. At the very least. Probably Angie Dickinson as well. And you get your own plane.
Q: What would you order for your last meal? A: If I had to pick one thing for a last meal, I think it would be a bottle of Bushnels in a glass.
Q: Who would you choose to be stranded on a desert island with? A: Well, not that guy from the desert island show, which is Richard Hatch. Not him. Cindy Crawford would be a good pick.
Q: What was your biggest regret? A: My biggest regret? I don't have a whole lot of them … Well, there was a nun when we were in school, she was the young, attractive nun, and they had done the makeover thing on the nuns where they weren't wearing habits anymore … Her name was Sister Sharon. And she was really sexy, especially, for all the eighth-grade boys. I always had a big crush on her and I never expressed it, except to the other guys in the class. And then we graduated from high school and went on about our lives and we all found out that she had left the nunhood, I guess you call it, and married this teacher that taught history. So we were all like, 'Wow, all you had to do was ask.' So that was one regret. I never dated Sister Sharon. So as a Catholic boy, that's sort of like a dream thing: to date a nun or an ex-nun.
Q: What makes a person sexy? A: I would say the sexiest thing on anybody is their sense of humor. I know that's a cliche, but in my case it's especially strong. If somebody can't make me laugh, I'm not particularly interested in carrying on the conversation.
Q: What do you like to spend your money on? A: Mostly on my kids … So a lot of toys and trucks.
Q: What three people would you want to have over for dinner? A: The famous three-people-over-for-dinner question … Let's go with Hitler, Jerry Lewis and God. Because that way you could have two disparate personalities and the guy who could basically explain the reason for both.
Q: What's your secret passion? A: I'd say hockey. That would be my straight answer. My comedy answer would probably be Michele Pfeifer. I have kind of a secret obsession with Michele Pfeifer.