The Name Behind the Number

Ryan Kramer, 16, is one of the smartest teenagers you will ever meet. He's already skipped ahead four grades and is now a junior at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

He completes math problems that fill-up entire blackboards, just like Matt Damon's character in the film "Good Will Hunting." While math and science problems are a breeze for Ryan, it's a really basic question that has stumped him for years.

Ryan's mother, Wendy Kramer, became pregnant with him 17 years ago using sperm from an anonymous donor. Ryan says he began asking about his father from a very early age.

"I was 2 years old at the time and going through preschool and seeing other kids who had two-parent families. I approached my mom and said, 'So did my dad die or what?'"

In the best way she could, Wendy explained that she did not know his father and that they may never know him because he had been promised anonymity.

Still, when Ryan's curiosity remained strong a few years later, Wendy suggested that her son write to the sperm bank requesting more information.

Looking for Answers

According to Wendy, "Donors sign up for anonymity. That's their choice, but I also honor my child who never signed an agreement with anybody. The question is, why does a donor's rights trump the child's rights every time?"

All Ryan knew was that his father had been assigned a number, but the sperm bank let it slip that his donor also had fathered other children. Ryan now believed he had half-siblings … and he came up with a way to find them.

Ryan and his mother started a Web site called the Donor Sibling Registry. If you know your donor's number and the bank from which the sperm was procured, you provide the Web site with that information and you'll find out whether you have any matches. Thousands of people have found half-siblings and in some cases, the actual sperm donor.

Even though Ryan knew he could have dozens of half-siblings, it would be years before he would make a match, and even then it would not end up the way he wanted.

'Everything Conceivable'

Liza Mundy, a Washington Post writer and author of the book "Everything Conceivable: How Assisted Reproduction Is Changing Men, Women and the World," said she believed there could be more than 1 million offspring of sperm donors in the world. "There's nobody tracking it. There's nobody counting," said Mundy.

Surprisingly, Mundy says, women using donated sperm is not a new idea. "For more than 100 years, sperm donation has been conducted surreptitiously. If a couple was suffering from male infertility, they would go to a doctor and he would say, 'Well, here is a solution and don't say anything to anyone about it.'"

So is there a limit to the number of children one donor can "father?" Scroll through the Donor Sibling Registry and you'll see some donors who have been responsible for 20 or more births. Because all of the information on the Web site is put there voluntarily, the actual number for many donors could be much higher.

"There's no regulation," Mundy said. "Some of the banks say we'll cap it at 10 offspring, but if the pregnancy is not reported — and many times it's not — then the sperm bank has no way to know whether or not a child has resulted."

Page
  • 1
  • |
  • 2
Join the Discussion
You are using an outdated version of Internet Explorer. Please click here to upgrade your browser in order to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus
 
You Might Also Like...