Rocky's Shopping List: Last week, I asked what Rocky the Dog, noble hound of ESPN contributor Bill Speros, should give for Christmas or Chanukah. Miles Custis of Lynden, Wash., suggests a gift that calls itself the " ultimate white elephant." Ohmikeoh ?of Washington, D.C., suggested Pet Chatz, which lets harried professionals talk to their dogs through a tiny video screen, then dispense a treat. The dog perhaps is thinking, "I'd be happier if she just stayed at work and kept pressing the button."
Angie Hernandez of Alexandria, Va., supposed, "Rocky's sense of smell will appreciate this fine gift. The product is underarm deodorant "made with bits of real bacon." Haven't you always wanted to go on a date with someone who smells like real bacon? Surely Rocky the Dog would go.
Why Certain Teams Have Not Made the Playoffs in This Century: Game tied at Toronto, less than a minute remaining in regulation, the Buffalo Bills' Stevie Johnson caught a pass and ran to the Atlanta Falcons' 30, position for a field goal to win: then fumbled, Falcons ball. On the first possession of overtime, Buffalo's Scott Chandler caught a pass and ran to midfield; then fumbled, Atlanta ball. The Falcons kicked the winning field goal a moment later. The Bills had found a way to lose at "home" to the sole NFL team eliminated from the postseason when the day began.
Buffalo's non-playoffs run now stretches to a league-worst 14 seasons leaving the Bills, once perennial Super Bowl contenders, the joke team of the 21st century so far. You know you're terrible when loose-cannon crack users get a VIP seat at your game.
Last Week's Ohio State Item: A reader questioned whether "leisure studies" and "exercise science" should be majors at a four-year university. Steven Hansen of Fort Worth, Texas, writes, "I graduated from college with a major in exercise science, which was a popular major, but not for reasons that people may assume. I am now in my second year of medical school, and can report that my degree prepared me more for my classes in medical school than the classes of some of my friends who majored in neuroscience, molecular neology or microbiology. For my exercise science degree, I was required to take human anatomy, human physiology, biology, molecular biology, tissue biology, physics, general chemistry and organic chemistry before going on to courses such as exercise physiology, orthopedic impairments and biomechanics. Exercise science may not sound prestigious, but is a legitimate major." Here are the program sheets for Ohio State's exercise science major.
Last Week's Psychic Item: I found it wrong that a New York City psychic should be sentenced to five years in prison, as opposed to just put out of business, considering that spiritual-world claims made by psychics are uncomfortably similar to claims made with full respectability by clergy. (Your columnist is a churchgoer.)