A rugby league fan hilariously live-blogs Jarryd Hayne's NFL debut

— -- When you're an NFL hopeful who authors viral plays like Jarryd Hayne did this preseason, people take notice.

But when you make the roster and your NFL debut just months removed from Australian rugby stardom -- folks around the world take notice.

Hayne, a former national team member and rugby league player of the year now serving as the San Francisco 49ers' punt returner, has introduced the NFL game to a new audience back home in Australia. While his outing Monday night against the Minnesota Vikings lacked the sizzle of his preseason highlight reel, he still made waves in Sydney, where one writer decided to live-blog Hayne's debut.

Here is a sampling of the literary greatness that was The Guardian's account of Hayne's performance "as seen through the eyes of an uninitiated Australian rugby league fan":

I don't admit to knowing a motherlode about American football but I do know there's a third-string punt returner and/or running back playing called Jarryd "Hayne Plane and/or Train" Hayne, wearer of the most famous No38 in Australian sports history. So yes, there's been some hype.

After Hayne's first return:

Here's the Hayne Plane! His first touch in the NFL. And... he drops it? Oh my goodness me, he drops it! His first touch is a fumble! He's grassed it. Oh my

After a Hayne 7-yard reception (we think):

He is given the ball and he .... oh yes, he makes some yards. And he's getting a little love. And wow, he's on the telly, doing his thing for the Eels. Ha. Oh, rugby league. He's got the ball from a pass - he beats one! He beats ... no, that's all. Just one. Good little run though. He made seven yards.

On teammate Carlos Hyde's 360 and score:

Hyde spun and ran and confused everyone and we have a touchdown!

From Bridgewater to Namath to ... Don Trump?!

Teddy Bridgewater has been solid without being the reincarnation of ... oh here we go, who? ... I'm going with Joe Namath. ... Interception! Sorry Teddy, commentator's curse. ... Here's Carlos again ... He's owning this puppy. Owning it like Don Trump owns stuff made of gold.

We'll just leave these right here:

Bridgewater starting to throw the hamburger, now.

Darryl Patterson takes a catch and is jumped upon by a huge man.

There will be no illegal substituting in this referee's National Football League, no sirree Bob Hoskins.

Sacked. Couldn't tell you why it's called that. But sacked he was, Teddy, sacked like a poor employee.

We want Hayne, we want Hayne!

And surely now it's time to release the man, the enigma, the rugby playing kangaroo man, Jarryd "Hayne Plane and/or Train" Hayne. What's the worst can happen?

As the clock ticks down:

Carlos Hyde again, a human battering ram. ... He's being bashed up like a packet of crackers. ... The crowd are making some noise, no-one knows why, not even the crowd, it's just like a mass noise made by everyone at once, for no reason, just sporadically. ... No air raid siren from 1944 London? ... And there's the siren for full-time and it's, ha, like a fog horn from the Titanic, which is how the Vikings have fared this evening. ... I'm Matt Cleary. Goodnight, good afternoon and good on ya.

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Dear NFL:

Someone please hire this guy to do color commentary.

Sincerely,

NFL fans everywhere.