Country Club Candidates

A roundup of the late-night comics.

Late Show

David Letterman: There are ten Republicans want to be president of the United States. Did you see them? I mean they looked like guys waiting to tee off at a restricted country club.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Well, according to The New York Post, Hillary Clinton used three private jets in a single day in a campaign swing through South Carolina. Three different private jets. And today, she was officially named a Hollywood environmentalist. So there you go right there.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: Good to have the President back talking tough and looking strong. Jimmy.

(shows video of Bush statement)

President Bush: I recognize that many Democrats saw this bill as an opportunity to make a political statement about their opposition to the war. They've sent their message.

Stephen Colbert: And the President deleted it.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: And because of Barack Obama's immense popularity, he's already been given Secret Service protection. It's a whole group already. And poor Joe Biden, did you see what he got? Can of mace and a pen knife. Yeah.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: President Bush was on "American Idol" last night. I know. He made an appearance. Afterwards the phone lines were jammed with people trying to vote him off. I don't…

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: Instead of this president, the candidates decided to focus on a president from the past. Count along at home now, let's see how many times the name Ronald Reagan gets mentioned.

(shows video of debate)

Sen. John McCain: Ronald Reagan used to say ...

Rudy Giuliani: ... they looked in Ronald Reagan's eyes ...

Chris Matthews: The house of Ronald Reagan ...

Rudy Giuliani: Ronald Reagan taught us ...

Chris Matthews: What Ronald Reagan stood for.

Rudy Giuliani: ... what we can borrow from Ronald Reagan

Chris Matthews: Mrs. Reagan ... Mrs. Reagan

Mitt Romney: Mrs. Reagan

Sen. Sam Brownback: Mrs. Reagan

Chris Matthews: Mrs. Ronald Reagan

Sen. John McCain: Mrs. Reagan

Rudy Giuliani: Ronald Reagan optimism.

Sen. John McCain: In the tradition of Ronald Reagan.

Jimmy Kimmel: There you go, I think 85.

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