Jay Leno: You don't know how crazy this political correctness has gotten. You know the movie "Miracle on 34th Street?" They had to change it to "Coincidence on 34th Street."
Jon Stewart: Pentagon officials defend the practice, saying the Iraqi media are notoriously unreliable as well as guilty of spreading dangerous misinformation like this.
[Picture of the tabloid character "batboy."]
Leno: How many of you have been following this "Cirque de Saddam" trial? I don't even think he's taking this trial very serious. Did you see him writing on his hand? He was writing on his hand in court. Show the footage. Okay, now watch. Allen, can we take a look at this? See what it [Saddam's alleged hand] says? "Pick up bread and eggs. Tivo 'Joey.' Torture Kurds. Bet a hundred goats on USC."
Stewart: Why has Congress decided to take on cable?
Jack Valenti, former head of the Motion Picture Association of America, at hearing: It is crawling with the most sordid, vicious and unwholesome pornography that you will ever see.
Stewart: So what has happened people?
Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition, at the same hearing: I grew up in the 1950s. "Ozzie and Harriet," "Howdy Dowdy" and "Mickey Mouse Club" entertained us on TV. Television promoted good family values.
Stewart: And black people couldn't use the same water fountains. Good times!