FUNNIES: Who's Hu? Ask Jon Stewart

April 23, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jay Leno: Some more good news: President Bush [is] creating thousands of new jobs. The bad news: They're all in the White House.

Jon Stewart: If I asked you to guess which foreign leader visited the United States this week, I'd imagine you'd say 'who?' Then, I would say that's correct.

Leno: Actually, actually, I have to defend President Bush tonight. A lot of people [are] making fun of him, claiming he made up the word "decider." Remember the other day he said "I'm a decider"? Remember? … Talking about Donald Rumsfeld, [Bush said] "I'm a decider." I looked it up, it's actually a word.

Kevin Eubanks: Really?

Leno: No, really, he was correct. … I'm not sure this is a word though. Play the tape from this morning.

President Bush [on videotape]: … And urge his nation to use its considerable influence with North Korea to make meaningful progress toward a Korean penin-chew-la that is free of nucular weapons.

Leno: Now, what? I'm not sure…

Bill Maher: Big shake-up this week at the Bush administration. I guess you heard this: Karl Rove no longer to coordinate policy at the White House. That is a shocker: Someone coordinates policy at the White House?

Stewart: [Former White House Press Secretary Scott] McClellan has taken much criticism over the years for his evasiveness, his sweaty, disingenuous lying. But as usual, the president eulogized his still-living charge through revisionist history-colored glasses.

Bush [on videotape]: One of these days, he and I are going to be rocking in chairs in Texas, talking about the good old days of his time as the press secretary.

Stewart: Said McClellan, '"Which day was that, the good one you speak of?"

Leno: And I thought this was nice: The president of China gave President Bush a traditional Chinese gift -- a pirated, bootleg copy of "Mission: Impossible III." Two weeks before it opens.