FUNNIES: Chilling in the Freezer with Bribe Money

May 28, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

David Letterman: Kind of a minor heat wave, as a matter of fact, down in Washington, D.C. Earlier today, it was so hot, so hot in Washington, that one Congressman actually got into the freezer with his bribe money.

Jay Leno: Mexican President Vicente Fox arrived in the U.S. today. So it's official: He's the last one. Turn out the lights. They're all here now. He came, he came.

Conan O'Brien: Yesterday, of course, former Enron executives Ken Lay and Jeffrey Schilling were found guilty of bankrupting the company and its employees. They're both facing over 100 years in prison. This makes them the only two Enron employees who don't have to worry about paying for retirement.

Leno: As you may have heard, Louisiana Rep. William Jefferson was caught on tape taking a $100,000 bribe, and then the FBI found $90,000 in cash in his freezer. Well, did you hear what happened today? Today, the FBI searched Ted Kennedy's freezer, found $90,000 in frozen daiquiris.

O'Brien: Yesterday, President Bush told reporters that he won't see Al Gore's documentary about the threat of global warming. He will not see it, yeah. On the other hand, Dick Cheney said he's seen the global warming film five times, and it still cracks him up.

Kimmel: The city of New Orleans this weekend reelected Mayor Ray Nagin to a second term. This is the guy, he was in charge of, during Hurricane Katrina. He got a lot of criticism for how he handled it. Then he got some criticism when he promised to reconstruct [New Orleans] as a chocolate city. Some people accused him of playing the race card. I think he was just hungry, personally. But in his acceptance speech after his victory Saturday, Mayor Nagin showed just how color blind he really, truly, clueless-ly is.

Ray Nagin [victory speech]: It's time for us to stop the bickering. It's time for us to stop measuring things in black and white, and yellow and Asian.

Kimmel: He must mean the Pac Man family that lives there.

Letterman: The president of Mexico has arrived in the United States, thanks to some nifty fence climbing -- hopped right over and came on in. I thought this was encouraging. He offered to take President Bush's job for three bucks an hour cash.