Advice on Splitting Bills & Being a Graceful Guest

June 3, 2010 — -- Q: My cruise line provides "per passenger, per day" tipping guidelines. I'm traveling with a toddler, and his fare was free—do I need to include a tip from him too?

A: I think you should. Most toddlers I know leave a large trail of debris in their wake (raisins, spilled milk, crayon wrappers, etc.). Your cabin steward and waiters will probably spend more time picking up after your son than all the adults in your party combined… and in my opinion, that merits a tip.

Q: My parents are retired and on a fixed income, but my dad still makes a big deal about paying for the whole family when we eat out together. If I ask for the check he'll grab it out of my hands. When you're dining with a multi-generational family group, who should pick up the check?

A: In my experience, that honor belongs to whoever can grab it first (and then win the ensuing "No, let me get it!" argument). I'm sorry, but there's no hard-and-fast rule like "the oldest person who's currently employed should pay" or something. What I will say, however, is that if you really want to pay without someone trying to overrule you, it is possible—as long as you don't mind a bit of a covert operation. Get up as if you're going to the bathroom, find the maitre d', explain that you want to pay for your table, and give him your credit card. At the end of your meal, your waiter will bring the check to you—and it'll already have been run on your credit card. Then it's pretty much impossible for your dad to claim it.

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